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Does your toddler do this? and what can you do about it?

My daughter, 2 1/2 years old, will ask me to give her something to eat, I do and then she will say no, I don't want it, as soon as I start to take it away, she will start to cry and say, no mommy I want that. It will go on and on sometimes. She has started doing this about other things as well, like when she wants a specific toy or if she wants to watch her favortie video. As soon as I start to give her what ever it is she will say no, then she will go back and forth. It is very frustrating and I am not sure how to handle this one. Has any of your kids done this and how did you break them of it? Thanks for any suggestions.


Asked by Kelly502 at 8:27 AM on Apr. 11, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • Children can often do this. It's their way of asserting their dominance into the situation, as well as them controling their wants. (Even if that means changing their mind 2343 times.) When she asks for something then you say "Once I put it on (make it, pour it, etc) you are to watch it (drink it, eat it). So if it isn't what you want then you need to decide that now." Just try to eliminate the option of her changing her mind over and over again by making it clear that what she asks for better be what she really wants. If she does change her mind then remind her that this was what she asked for and it's what she's getting. If she throws a fit then she gets nothing.

    When my kids throw tantrums over something they go to their room. When they throw a tantrum over what I give them, then it gets taken away and they go to their room. I don't condon tantrums and don't reward the child for giving them.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:24 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • My dd did this. In my dd's case she was just trying to have control of the situation. It's important for kids to feel they have control in a situation, when it's appropriate for them. So when my dd would ask for something and then say no and cry when I took it away I would just say that's fine I'm going to leave it here and if you want it you can have it and if not then leave it. Or I would take it away and when she cried for it I would say Well you said no so mommy thought you didn't want it. I found for a while too she didn't really understand that she would loose it if she said no. Just be patient with her and let her know that sometimes she get's to decide but there are things that mommy decides and that's that.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:34 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • My son just started this, I've been doing the same thing really. All while just trying to wait it out. lol

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 9:02 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Kids this age are trying to learn what they do and do not have control over. You can leave a snack or toy out for her to decide about on her own. It helps her feel like she has some control.

    Answer by elizabr at 9:03 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Thanks for your answer and suggestion, I have been pretty much handling it this way, I guess she just hasn't quite gotten it yet. I will do my best to be consistent. It is encouraging to hear that someone else has dealt with this also.

    Comment by Kelly502 (original poster) at 9:01 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • thanks ladies for each of your thoughtful answers, good advice

    Comment by Kelly502 (original poster) at 10:39 AM on Apr. 11, 2011