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2 Bumps

Would you go thru your childs room AND would you do a testing?

another question on here sorta prompted this....but recently the mother of a boy my son hung out with alot came by and said she had heard her son was smokin so she had a drug test done and it was positive. she was not accusing my son at all - she was just "letting me know". I appreciated it!! So I had a mini melt down and went thru his room (under matteress, in pant pockets, opening video boxes) I didn't find anything. By the time he got home from school I had calmed down and asked him if he smoked...asked about his friends...and he honestly said "yeah some of em do and they've offered but it's stupid" so I told him about my visit (not who) and asked if he understood our fears and my dh said not today, but soon I am going to have a random test done on you. Our ds is fine with this. WOULD YOU HAVE ONE DONE???

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Apr. 11, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • You mean smoking pot? Uh, yep.. that's drug use and yes, I would test. I did test. Randomly - AND the cost of the test came out of his allowance -- because he got caught smoking pot and paying for his own drug testing was part of him being held responsible for his own actions. You can also go to the local drug screen place - they have tests that you can take home with you -- I believe they are more accurate and test for more substances than the OTC ones, they also have a thermometer on them so you can tell if the urine is fresh from the body or not... they cost about $30.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 12:22 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • No, not if I already flat out asked him if he did or not and he gave me what I thought was an honest answer. I believe that trust within a family is more important than anything. If he doesn't feel that his parents trust him when he has done nothing wrong- what do you think that could lead to? Possibly the mentality of "They don't trust me anyway so why not...." or "They already think I do so...." that kind of lack of trust can be a real burden on a teen. It can really effect his self esteem.

    I would just talk to him about what it can lead to, and why you and your DH are concerned and would be disappointed if he did.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 12:17 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • If I had reason to suspect that my kids were doing drugs of anykind, it's my job as a parent NOT to take their word at face value and find out for myself. If I'm wrong and they were being truthfull, that's great. I would rather be wrong and my kids "hate" me, then to bury my head in the sand
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:28 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Besides my house is NOT a democracy, my children don't have "rights" per say, they have privlidges (sp).
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 1:33 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Probably, It's better to be to careful with stuff like that then to not be careful enough. If he is and he is hidding it you want to get him help and the only way to know for sure is to test him.
    Liamsmom09

    Answer by Liamsmom09 at 12:15 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I fail to see why you would test him if he's not doing or acting in a way to suggest he is on something.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 12:26 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I would check their room and I would rtandomly drug test if I knew that they were hanging around others who smoked weed. This I say in hindsight. When my 23yo son was 16 I heard that he was drinking and smoking weed and I asked him flat out with a friend of his with him. My son looked at me flat in the eyes and said no and his friend looked at me and said "No Momma T, Andrew doesn't do that. We have offered and he always says no". I believed them both and then a few years later, when my son iwas 22 and in a 12 step program for drug addiction, he confesses to me that when he was 16 he was indeed getting high and drinking. So yeah, if I heard it from someone that it MIGHT be a possiblitity I would definetly go through his stuff and test him.....knowing now what I know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I would have done exactly what you did. I don't think I would do a random drug test. How do you even do such a thing? Take him to the police station?
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 12:13 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • i guess Walgreens/CVS etc sell a home kit or you can take them to a local clinic (express care type)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:15 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • By having him tested you are telling him you don't trust what he told you. I would believe my kids unless they gave me a reason not to trust them to be honest with me.
    MommaKath1975

    Answer by MommaKath1975 at 12:16 PM on Apr. 11, 2011