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Allow 19yo daughter's boyfriend to stay over?

My 19yo DD is in college; her boyfriend of about four months is driving her home next month. He'll stay over for a few days. DD asked if he can sleep in her room. "We won't do anything." She has not told me whether they are having sex. I have a feeling they're not. I have a 16yo son and a 12yo daughter. I am engaged and my fiance lives in our house. I told her yes, he could stay in her room but I'm having second thoughts. Is this a bad thing for my 12yo and 16yo in any way? If they were in a longer-term more serious relationship I would have no problem but as it is, I'm not sure..... but I don't want to be unreasonable. Any thoughts?

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mamamk63

Asked by mamamk63 at 1:26 PM on Apr. 11, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • YOUR home, YOUR rules. I wouldnt let my kid's SO spend the night. NOT at 19 y.o. It gives the other kid's the impression it's ok, and dosnt set a good example.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 1:28 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I think it's a bad idea. Have some respect for your younger children, it's the wrong message to send to them.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 1:30 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I've been there, done that. They should sleep in separate rooms. It won't kill them and it is a better standard to show to the younger kids. Simply tell her you have given it more thought and changed your mind. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:30 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Your home, your rules. I'm sure they are having sex and if they are its no big deal since she's 19, but I've made the rule clear in my home, only my hub and me are allowed to have sex in this house. I would let him stay over , if he stayed on the couch.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 1:30 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Nope seperate bedrooms... gotta keep a good sense of values and morals for the younger ones you still have at home. Hope this helps. ; ) xoxo
    luckygurl1313

    Answer by luckygurl1313 at 1:31 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Yeah, I agree with vbruno on this one. If it wasn't for your other kids, I think it would be fine (IMO), I mean she is past legal age, and she is in college, and should know by now to be responsible. She is technically an adult. But since its your house, and you have your other kids who probably look up to her, I would think because of them this would set a bad example. Just tell her its nothing personal against her OR her boyfriend, but your watching out for your younger children's sake. Especially with the ages they are. Good luck!
    CollegeMommy121

    Answer by CollegeMommy121 at 1:32 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Id let them. She is 19 and an adult she is not a child. The rule in my house is they follow my rules but once out on their own and over 18 they make their own choices. I dont see it as a bad example since she is 19, not 15.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:33 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Well as my husband would say (and I agree) 'that boy can stay here but he's sleeping in the garage!" lol
    Good Luck! I wouldn't let him in her room.
    goddess99

    Answer by goddess99 at 1:38 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Not in my house. I made that perfectly clear to my kids when they started dating. Just not something I even want
    to think about.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 1:43 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • That's not appropriate. No one has sex in my house except me.

    And most teens aren't going to talk to openly about their sex life with their moms. I agree, they probably are having sex.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:43 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

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