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CafeMom's of Late Teens and Adult Children...IS CONVERSATION A ONE WAY STREET?

SUGGESTIONS AND EXAMPLES OF QUESTIONS OR DIALOGUE TO GET   YOUR TEEN OR ADULT KID TO HAVE A TWO WAY CONVERSATION THAT LAST FOR MORE THAN 3 MINUTES?  I'M A MOM OF A 20 YEAR OLD, WHO NEVER HAD THIS CONVERSATION ISSUE AS A PROBLEM.   WE WOULD TALK FOR HOURS.   NOW HOWEVER, IF WE CHAT FOR 3 MINUTES IT'S A MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT, PROVIDED I DO MORE LISTENING AND LESS TALKING....OUCH!!!    CSJOY1

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csjoy1

Asked by csjoy1 at 1:33 PM on Apr. 11, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 10 (450 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I cant give an example per say. My oldest is 21 and we talk all the time about all kinds of things. She calls everyday and comes over almost every day. We talk about movies, shoes, her kids, her brothers, life, work, whatever. I just ask her how things are? And she goes on and on, and asks me what i think, and Ill tell her.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:35 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I am sorry, I really can't help on this. I have 4 sons who are 19, 20, 23 and 24 and the younger 3 (who live in WA, PA and TX) call every day and we talk for 30-60 minutes and our oldest lives nearby and comes over for supper twice a week and calls once or twice a week and talks for an hour + whenever he calls. When our 19yo is home from college we take walks and talk, we go out to eat and talk, etc.. I don't think there's any special formula, we just talk.
    tracylynnr67

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 1:41 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I have a 20 yr old and I have no worries about talking. She never shuts up LOL I do find that we do not always end up talking about the important things. It's like, it's my life and I can handle it. Not much you can do when they want to be independent.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 1:42 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Is he still at home? My ds and i talked all the time prior to him moving out.....now that he can keep his house any way he wants to (which is clean btw) and he doesn't hear the "turn off the video games and take out the trash..." I'm just mom and seem to call at inconvient times (playing a video or headed out wtih friends) and "man i call you every thursday...YOU only talk to grams once a week..." so.......i guess i set that example of not talkin to my momma more
    brypmom

    Answer by brypmom at 1:44 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Hugs ! They are all diffferent. :-) With 2 adult boys, one calls and talks and the other is like- yup, no, OK etc. I guess it is a good thing that they are maturing and living their lives independantly. Some young men aren't big on "talking". They will go through phases just as we did. I think the most important part is to keep being a positive force and make the most of any time or conversation we have with them. It is hard to let them go.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 2:00 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Try to find areas he's interested in- like fav. music/bands, or any other interests/hobbies & talk to him about that. I too have a difficult 20 y/o who still lives at home (for now) and sad to say, there are days we communicate better thru text! -lol It's just a strange age, and you just have to hope things will return to some semblance of normalcy again when he grows out of it.  (We never had this problem before- so I'm convinced it's just another phase)  :)    

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:14 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • They never have much to say unless they have something to share or they need money
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 7:15 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

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