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2 Bumps

Cheating husband!!!!!!!

How will I know if my husband stopped cheating is their a way to find out without hiring a private investigator? he came clean and told me that he had been living a lie and was cheating on me we are still trying to get thru this obstacle in our life but sometimes I think that he is still cheating!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Apr. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I think maybe that thought will always been there - trust has been broken and now you HAVE to second guess and wonder if its happening still or again - Maybe you could go through counseling or bring up to him your current concerns or thoughts.. good luck!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:59 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Leave the bastard, they never change!
    MexTexmom2

    Answer by MexTexmom2 at 3:02 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Talk with the other woman. She'll let you know
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:02 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Wow I'm sorry I have been there but that ended my relationship, my advice would be to separate for awhile and get counseling because honestly if you aren't willing or at a place where you can trust that he is doing what he says and not cheating , your marriage is in trouble.
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 3:03 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Its really up to him to convince you. As the person who has done nothing wrong, you should not have to worry about it again -- that's his job to make sure you feel that way. I know it is nearly impossible...even if he was a saint forever you would still have your doubts and feelings of betrayal. I know I would.

    If he came clean, that's amazing. I think that would be a good indicator of him wanting to stop. But I think it is REALLY tough not to slip back once that door has been opened. If they can do it the first time, it is just that much easier the second. So, that is why I think it really falls on him to make you feel secure. It can work. I'm sorry you're going through this.
    SandyHack

    Answer by SandyHack at 3:03 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I agree, the trust is broken, so you will always wonder. You'll pick things apart, and make them into a bigger deals than they are. You have really got to ask yourself, ' is constantly worrying if he is cheating, or lying really worth it?" you might consider counseling, if you do really believe that your marriage is going to work. I would straight up tell your husband that you are having these feelings. Be should completely understand since he came clean. If you do, make sure you say things like, "I feel"
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 3:04 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I just read admckenzie's comment, and I agree WHOLE HEARTEDLY.
    SandyHack

    Answer by SandyHack at 3:04 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • that makes no sense... u can talk to the other woman all day long. DOESNT MEAN SHE'S THE ONLY ONE. ( how would you know... until he fessed up to you did you have a clue??? )

    Thats always gonna be on you. I dont do the cheating thing PERIOD!!!! once you cross that line... you can continue sticking your thing in others cause I am done. NO MORE TRUST even if you kissed my feet cooked dinner for a year and wrote down every single pee break you took at work and reported it to me. ITS BETRAYAL and only YOU will continuously wonder... NOT HIM. I couldnt do it, I am not that trusting and forgiving, and dont need the constant stress of wondering. Good luck to you.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 3:10 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • You need to tell him that you are having trouble trusting him. Then you should tell him what, if anything, that he can do to help put your mind at rest. It will take a while for trust to be restored, but you have to be honest with him.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:11 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I had a long term bf who cheated on me constantly and to this day I have a hard time trusting my husband (different man) even though he never has and never will cheat (he's been cheated on before so he knows how it feels and wouldn't do it). That kind of thing can mess with your head. I say separate. If things can be worked out to where you don't doubt him, great! If not, go on with your life and find someone who deserves you!
    Kari727

    Answer by Kari727 at 4:24 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

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