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4 Bumps

Forgive me for judging but....

Im getting to know a woman that I met in my new neighborhood about 5 mths ago and I'm not liking what I'm seeing. I hate judging and try really hard not to but I can't help it with her! I just walked in the house and her son is in his playpen (he's 2 and she admits that he's always in his play pen) and she hands him a bottle with juice in it that clearly has old milk or something white stuck to all the sides ofthe bottle and white stuff floating in his juice! I can't believe it! He is not talking and acts like a baby because she never teaches him anything. She has said that he stays in the play pen most hours of the day. When we go out to the farmers market And out for walks she refuses to let him walk. She said she keeps him strapped in because he's too much to handle. I told her that maybe it's because he doesn't get much attention and exercise that he can't help but go crazy when he finally is able to run around. I just don't understand ths parenting! It's sad and horrible! He boyfriend is an arrogant asshole and I stay very far away from him. I never have said anything about her parenting unless she ask me for advice but I'm getting to the end of my rope. What to do??!

 
ProudMammaMia

Asked by ProudMammaMia at 3:59 PM on Apr. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,619 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Sounds like a fine line between laziness and neglect. I'd be just as concerned as you are. Maybe set up play dates with your child so she can see how you interact with your child. If she's not breaking the law, then modeling good parenting might help her realize that she needs to step it up.  If she is breaking the law, withholding food or any basic need, then it is your duty to report it.  Sorry hun!  I hope you find the answer!  That poor kiddo.

    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 4:11 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I would suggest doing things with her like mommy and me days or children's museums where kids can run around and just "be kids". There is no way to change a person like this without a good slap in the face and since that is illegal i suggest showing her how you parent (but don't rub it in like "my kid is better than yours", that can be percieved wrong) just help her child as much as you can... donate some of your old sippy cups (that are clean) and say, I have no room in my cabinets for these, could you use them? Or offer to baby sit and let the kid run wild in your yard so he gets some excercise.... i'm not saying be the kid's mom, just be a guide. She's probably young and lazy and doesn't know how to or feel like being a mom and technically she's not doing anything illegal (although the milk thing was pretty gross), but they obviously need some help..
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 4:14 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Teach her through being a better parent. When she sees how well your LO is doing, how much s/he talks and well behaved s/he can be when allowed to walk on his/her own she will probably wonder why her's isn't like that.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 4:06 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • OMG . . the dirty bottle . ... I would have had to say something. That could make him sick.

    When I am out with my two year old, I actually put him in a stroller because he is a runner . . . .but he has free run of the house when we are home.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:08 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • That's a tough situation like I said, the things I've seen would make any normal person sick! I've turned her into social services, they now come out 2 times a week for parenting classes. I've seen her daughter with severe diaper rash, mold on her clothes and bedding! It's sad and sickening! She would keep her daughter strapped in a bouncy chair so she couldn't get out and crawl around. I've been in her face and she knows I'm the one that turned her in, I don't care! I love her daughter that's why I stick around but my suggestion to u is, if you don't plan on being around her cause it's too much (I understand) turn her in! You can do it anonymous! At least that little boy may get a little help! It's a painful thing to see!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 4:28 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Oh my. I wouldn't know what to do either!! That poor kid...
    JustCantWait88

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 4:00 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Thats terrible and my heart goes out to you AND him....I wouldnt know what to do in that kind of situation either...
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 4:02 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • with the bottle of old juice, she sounds "trashy" to me. Does she have other children? Why is he too much to handle? My older son was in a pack n play longer then the other two because had stairs and in the process of redoing the yucky carpet, so I really didn't want him on the floor unless I had a blanket or something on it.

    Sounds like she is "bothered" by being a parent. Why would you want to be friends with her?

    Have you met any of her family, besides dh?? Maybe in a round about way you can bring up a conversation about the little guy.

    Good Luck!
    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 4:05 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I dont really want to be friends with her ( I know that sounds horrible if me) after I've slowly seen what I have with her parenting. But I'm so new to the neighborhood and live so far from everyone I know that I'm just trying to socialize my DDR and myself. I am not close to her at all she's more of an associate. We just get together and that's it. I can't possibly get close to someone like this. It saddens me. I can't wait to make good people. And yes I agree, she does seem bothered by being a mom. And no she doesn't hav a reason to keep him in the stroller or play pen all the time. My dd and I are playing waiting for her to finish getting ready to leave and she has her son strapped in the high chair now. I asked her if he can come out but she said "I don't want him to get into things" I feel like screaming at her! As soon as we get to where were going I'm gonna make it to where she needs to let him out and play.
    ProudMammaMia

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 4:12 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • She praises my parenting and says sh wishes sh was like me but doesn't do anything differently. I'm trying to see if I will rub off on her and that's why I stay around...poor kid
    ProudMammaMia

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 4:14 PM on Apr. 11, 2011