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Need advice on dealing with a rude parent (kid's soccer team)

I am one of the coaches for my 5 year old son's soccer team. There are 10 children on the team, ages 4-5. There is a child on the team, "Andy," who is very sensitive, cries a lot, and wanders off the field to his parents during the middle of drills and games. I have made a lot of effort to engage this child and encourage him, and feel he is coming around and seems to having a good time. The issue, however, is his father. He has taken to making rude comments directed towards my son. My son is the only kid who will play with his child (we are both there early before practices and games). He gets bent out of shape when my son says or does anything and makes some type of smart remark. I have had some challenges in getting my kid to listen and do what I say during practices (someone on here posted about kids not being able to tell the difference between parent and coach - so true!)
But this guy gets offended when my kid kicks his kid's soccer ball! (That is one of the drills we do. This kid also cries when his own mom kicks his ball.) I'm not sure if he sees my child as "picking on" his kid, but I would definitely be correcting him if that were the case. He even makes remarks when my kid is talking just to ME, when no one is even talking to him. I am going to try and keep my child away from him and his child and avoid any confrontation, but I don't see it letting up (it actually seems to be getting worse). At this point, I feel like I am going to have to say something to this guy (privately). I feel this dad is overcompensating for the fact that his kid is the smallest and youngest on the team and probably isn't ready to be out there yet (there is a reason I waited til my son was five.) I'm sure some will read this and think yeah, the coach's kid is probably a brat. He is no angel, but he isn't doing anything beyond what the other 5 year old kids do (chasing around, etc. - nothing inappropriate). He just happens to be outgoing and confident, where this little guy would sit in mama's lap the whole time (not that there's anything wrong with that!) This guy clearly dislikes my child, or he maybe he just dislikes me and is taking it out on me through my kid. What am I going to do? Help!!

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Asked by RebeccaG1975 at 4:08 PM on Apr. 11, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I coach to, what i did in a situation like that is i sent out a email from the coaches to the parents about appropriate language, talk etc during games & practices. We also asked all parents refrain from talking to their children until after the game is over. I dont know how you set ont he fields but on ours coaches & kids are on one side, watchers on the other. We don't allow parent interaction unless the childs hurt. I guess it wouldnt hurt to ask parents to stay in one place during practices as well, Maybe a little away from the field. good luck momma!

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 4:12 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • What a tool this guy is to pick on kids and women. I would definately have a strong talk with him, but not alone. Maybe talk to the coach first then the man (and I say that lightly) together. Good luck.

    Answer by ochsamom at 4:14 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I d k what to say to him but I would think it would be along the lines of were trying to be good sports here. Or we are trying to teach positive outlooks. Good luck.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 4:17 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I would try and get to know them and see if maybe you just dont get he is a jerk in general to everyone or if something else if bothering him? Maybe he is picking up on your feelings about his son being too small to be out there too? I know my dd started little league just when she turned 5 and alot of people thought we should have waited. I knew exactly who those parents were and I also knew the ones who understood it was just a game. I stayed away from the ones who I heard talking crap about my kid, or I nicely told them it was my decision just as it was theirs and they could now shut their mouths (in a much nicer way of course).

    Answer by gemgem at 4:17 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • ok i don't think that you are favoring your child b/c you are the coach to me it seems like you are doing a good job at keeping things fair. And i do agree 5 year old boys can be rambunctious i have to boys 6 and 8 and oldest has ADHD so i totally get where are coming from i make sure to correct my childrens behavior but you can't completely stop your son from being a typical boy that is part of the whole sport thing at least in my opinion boys get very competative. I do think that this dad is over reacting and maybe taking it out on you and your son b/c his son doesn't have quite the ability that the other kids have yet. And lets face it we all want our kids to be super stars!! But you do need to address this b/c not only is he wrong he's teaching his son and everyone else in earshot horrible habits and sportmanship. My son when he was 5 was on a soccer team and think that what the coaches did was awesome. they made a rule

    Answer by amberpaiz at 4:18 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • sorry so long anyway they made a rule that no parent was allowed to interfere or say anything while practice was in session so that the kids could focus on the game and have fun. I think it really helped to keep this sort of thing from happening maybe you coaches should get together and think about making this a rule? i hope this helps

    Answer by amberpaiz at 4:20 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I think he's just defensive that your the coach and too sensitive about things that happen to his son, harmless or not. Sometimes there's just people you can't get out of your hair. Hopefully his son isn't on your team next year :) lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I would for sure talk to this ass and remind him that these are children!!!! they are there to also have fun and experience activities in a group setting. NOT ALL children are going to be a star at this age. HE NEEDS TO REFRAIN from his SMART A** remarks. ITs not healthy for the kids. AND ALSO HE COULD BE BANNED from the field all together!!! ( go ahead and find out who you need to talk to about that, have that person attend one of the times when HE is there and witness his behavior)

    I would continue to allow my child to play with his, its not the poor little guys fault his daddy's a JERK. Maybe just have them do there practice time away from the dad.

    If the father dislikes you then he can always take his son out, right??
    Put your foot down momma. Dont let him man handle you like that. Good luck

    Answer by kkbird at 4:30 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I think you probably will have to talk to him. If he was just griping about you, I'd say ignore it, but since he's directing the rude comments toward your son...

    Talk to the league officials - they may have some suggestions. But if not, I'd tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate negative comments directed toward any child on the team, including yours, and that if he cannot control himself, he needs to sit out of earshot of the children or stop attending practices & games. There is no way to deal with a jerk like this, except directly. Whatever his reasons - and you are really generous to consider them - you have to look out for your own child. You've been more than reasonable.

    Hang in there & good luck!!

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 4:33 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • since they are 5 then i may just pull my child. or report them to that leagues commsiioner!

    Answer by cmerc19 at 4:49 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

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