Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Not sure

Found out one of my uncles has cancer! Not sure if I should send him a message cause the last time I talked to him he said to me f*** you B!! He is just not a nice person.... The reason why he said that to me is cause my grandfather was sick & I ask him if was going to help take care of him.

Answer Question

Asked by Heartshape at 4:44 PM on Apr. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,028 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Maybe a card through snail mail would be appropriate. Then if he wants to contact you he can.

    Answer by meooma at 4:47 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • He is still your family..

    Answer by Obi.Ren.Kenobi at 4:52 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • i wouldn't. mean people like that usually want to be left alone. do what you think is right

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • It is usually family that treats us the worst and even mean uncles get sick. It is good of you to care enough to consider calling him. I agree that a card first may be the way to go.

    Answer by ochsamom at 4:56 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • i agree - possibly a card in snail mail and more of a Thinking of you card

    Answer by brypmom at 4:56 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I think if you want to reach out do it for yourself and not for his response. In other words, if you want to say something you make your peace and however he responds to it is his problem. Will you feel badly if you don't reach out and he passes away? I think that is the determining question. If the answer is yes then send a card or call, whichever you are comfortable with. If you wouldn't feel bad not speaking to him then I don't think you need to. If you reach out and he has a bad response then you know you did your part and that's all you can do. If he is negative and angry that's his problem, and it could be a result of a lot of other things in his life that have nothing to do with you but he still might take it out on you anyway. Good luck!

    Answer by MaryMW at 5:10 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Now is the time to reach out regardless of his reaction. If he dies, it will be too late to do anything. As someone else said, he is family. Let your anger go and show simple kindness. You'd be surprise how much it helps.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 5:33 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Was he always this rude and mean? are there any happy memories? if he was always a crabby bastard then just leave him alone he won't care either way if your in touch with him. However if this was odd behavior and he is just getting crabby in his old age but was good to you as a kid then sure send him a card and let him know you still care.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 6:01 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • My uncle is rude and mean. Sometimes you just have to deal with their personality. I send him cards sometimes, his wife (my bio Aunt) has cancer I think he likes the cards. He hasn't told me he hates them. I just look over his nasty attitude, he is old and frustrated.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 6:15 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Just to add. My uncle was not always like this. He was/is my favorite uncle, I spent my days with him when I was little because he had a dump truck business and he liked my company.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 6:18 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.