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Sorry if its a lot to read! But what do you think?

I got the following information off of The Bump web site. I looked up effects of the CIO method because of another question someone posted.
Here is my question: What if your baby cries for extended periods of time even when comforted??
I agree with the CIO method when used properly. I don't agree with parents just leaving their babies to cry endless amounts of time until they stop. But when my daughter was a newborn she cried many nights from 11pm until 6 am non stop while I held her. the doctors called it colic. So according to this study I am just screwed! What do you think?

"When infants are crying and not being attended to, their brains release stress hormones. There’s increasing evidence that this changes the whole physiology of how they’ll deal with stress for the rest of their lives.
Stress on developing brain
These are very young children with rapidly developing brains, and when the hormone cortisol is secreted under stress, it can damage the amygdala (the part of the brain that controls emotion). There’s also some evidence that it can damage the hippocampus, which deals with memory. And the longer babies cry, the more of this hormone gets secreted. There are a number of studies where they’ve stressed animals and then looked at their brains -- I don’t think this is very controversial.
Long-term damage
We know from retrospective studies that the worst possible condition a baby can be subject to is abandonment for periods of time. With a little extrapolation, you can see that in some cases, when babies are not getting attention and have to scream and yell to get it, it can do damage. It’s probably good for every baby to avoid this – we’re talking about long-term effects here. Impaired attachment creates some of the most severe mental illnesses -- borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder -- and is also seen in psychopaths. The studies are pretty clear on the long-term effects of disordered and ambivalent attachment.
Too tough for babies
There’s something pathologically wrong with people who want to be tough on babies. There’s this whole sort of notion that the tougher you are with children, the better they’ll be as adults. But actually, there’s research that supports the idea that giving children safety and contact early on leads to more secure children.

Answer Question

Asked by Anon344 at 7:28 PM on Apr. 11, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 16 (2,352 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • The very first sentence addresses NOT being attended to. So do subsequent paragraphs.

    You are no more screwed than the rest of us.

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:32 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • wow that is something to think about I guess but I have been told by my kids pediatrition to let my baby self sooth a bit otherwise you will train then to not be able to sleep without you holding them...I don't think letting the babe cry a little to see if they can get themselves back to sleep is a bad thing...leaving them alone is bad or just sitting there and letting them cry for hours on end would be out right cruel (obviously not for colicy babies lots of crying can't be helped there) but I don't think letting them cry for a bit before you give in and go rock them to sleep is anywhere near as bad as they are saying

    Answer by pregoagain2010 at 7:36 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • No, no . . . there is such a big difference . . . .you were WITH your baby. The abandonment portion is the biggie with babies.

    That is good information you posted. Ferber, the CIO guru, never intended for the baby to be left for long periods of time when crying in distress. He meant to allow for some fussing . . . . and when the baby screams or cries loudly, you go back in.

    For whatever reason, this was misinterpreted, and parents think that CIO means leaving the room and not going back in. Noone thinks that is good for the developing brain . . . but many of us were even told to do that by our peds.

    CIO, as it was meant, is a subtle shaping, and it is not supposed to be traumatic or upsetting.

    I studied alot in school about neurobiology and attachment . . . . so I did not do what we call CIO with my babies.


    Answer by ImaginationMama at 7:42 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Could you give me the website you got this info from? I don't have a problem with letting a baby cry for minutes at a time...we do need bathroom breaks afterall. lol But I have a family member who thinks its ok to let her 2 mo cry for long periods. I'd really like her to read this.

    Answer by lovinlifewith5 at 7:45 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • as a mother, we have that built in radar where we can interpret each cry for what it means. there is a difference between self-soothing and neglecting your child's needs. if CIO is done right, there will be no psychological damage!

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:48 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I agree with this article , your baby might have had colic, but it felt your body warmth and concern, I do not or will ever understand the CIO method. Rocking and soothing your baby to sleep is one of the most rewarding things I have done as a mother, it was a sad day when my baby said no more rocking mom!

    Answer by older at 7:48 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I talked to my pediatric for my kids, she said it is ok to let them cry for a half hr, NO more than that. When the half hr is up see if the baby is ready to try all the same things u tried the first time. U can't attend to every time they have a temper tantrum or just being fussy otherwise nothing gets done, and then the baby expects u to hold and cuddle all the time.

    Answer by at 7:49 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • You didn't abandon your baby for hours. You are fine, every baby needs to learn to soothe or you will end up like me with a 2yr old that won't sleep in his own bed.

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 7:52 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Here is one article:

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 7:57 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • And I agree, we, as moms, know the difference between fussing and being really upset . . .

    The problem comes when you hear that blood-curtling scream and you do not respond.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 7:59 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

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