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Im at the point in my relationship with my SO that i wouldnt care if we stayed or split...help!

Weve been together for 5 years. have a 2 year old.

i love him of course, hes one of my best friends, but we have been through so much in the past year that...i honestly wouldnt care if he left today!

He wouldnt, and thats the thing, i almost want him to. I cause arguments for no reason, but then i want to be lovey towards him. I of course do not do anything abnormal in front of our child, it needs to be as normal as possible for her, so we dont argue or anythign in front of her.

I would like to make "us" work, especially for our daughter, but in the back of my head, i know i cant be happy. theres many things, he needs to change, i myself too, but more him, and i dont see it happening. a few weeks ago i told him he needed to move out then he told me hed change etc. and he has been nice, helpful with the house, our daughter and stuff, but i dont see it lasting as i have given him another chance in the past.
i dont think hes cheated on me, but then again there was a point where he left me out of the blue and i think it was over a diff woman. we split up for 5 months just recently got back together about 5 months ago.

I know im stable to be on my own with my child, i have thought about this because i want it to happen! Hes pushing me away slowly, but now hes working on him, i just dont know if it will last and is even worth it.

Ahh i know this is all confusing but i need to let my feelings out somehow. Any advice? thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Apr. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • my personal philosophy is that if he left you right now would you cry? beg? plead? vomit? sleep in his clothes? snuggle with things that smell like him? text him? call him? etc etc? If you would do those things, it's not over. If you would NOT do those things...... it's over. You have a roommate.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 9:17 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • sounds like u are at your wits end. you are posting non so why not give more details. i would give a better answer if i knew more. he left out of the blue , did he at least keep in contact with the kiddo ?
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:19 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • #1: prayer
    #2: prayer
    #3: counseling
    I think many of us go through this. When I start feeling that way about my relationship ( I am married) I think back and play a movie in my head of us and the fun we had, but mostly remembering all of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place. You have to bear in mind always that no matter the man, all of your relationships will turn out this way at some point or another. Remember all of the reasons its great to have that significant other in your life, a partner and a friend. If you believe in God and what the bible says you will pull with all of your might to make it work and make it happy again. God Bless!
    ABusyBee

    Answer by ABusyBee at 9:20 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • posting anon ****
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:21 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Alright more detail. past year he was arrested for hitting me. currently taking counseling and dont really noticea difference. When he left me for a few months, he stayed in contact with me and our child, but he was gone partying every weekend and never took care of our child but once. He is controlling, pushes me away from my friends and family in a way. and other little things that add up.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:28 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I know what you are going through..I wouldnt care if mine left or not! We don't get along at all...he does not help me out with his child , wont change a diaper or even take out the trash....I think the last time we had a conversation that did not end up in a fight was , actually I cant even remember when..I think I am going to make a list of all the good and the bad and see which one has more points ...
    it really is a hard thing to go through when u have kids, u want it to work for there sake, but really thats not a good reason. We are role models to our kids and we want them to be in a happy relationship where there is love and respect and 50 , 50 on the house work..lol.....PRAY alot
    momofmonsters27

    Answer by momofmonsters27 at 9:33 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Please get some help for yourself. What you are are saying is terrifying. Here is the website of the national domestic violence hotline. http://www.thehotline.org
    BixNC

    Answer by BixNC at 11:18 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • in that case you should leave him. his behavior is unacceptable. it is too toxic. be happy, life is too short.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:59 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

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