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Torn between what the heart once and what my mind is telling me to do

Okay I am married to this man who is bi-polar, mean unhelpful and pays no attention to me at all..but he is the father of 2 year old ds....My son loves him to death obviously because thats his dad. But he dose not help with him at all ...no diapers , no telling him no, and he does no play with him....
and then there is this guy, he's been my bestfriend for 10 years....we tell each other everything...he wants me to leave my dh and move in with him, and he will help me with my kids and be everything ive ever wanted.....I know I would be happy with him...i just dont know if I should do it for my sons sake.....im so confused.....please give me some motherly , womanly, advice

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Apr. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • "a child would rather be from a broken home, than live in a broken home"
    my parents didnt get along when i was growing up. they hated each other. they fought all the time. i used to dream of them getting divorced.
    do not stay with him for your sons sake. hold a good/decent relationship with him so your son can still have his father.
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 9:56 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I don't think it would be healthy to leave one man and go so fast with another. If you did need to leave for your safety (and your man doesn't sound dangerous) I'd suggest living on your own for a while to see if you two could work things out, possibly see if he'd go in for bipolar meds and such. Possibly family counseling.

    But none of this has to be done with you moving out- you could try talking to him now and just kind of phase out this affair from happening.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • my bad what the heart wants
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:59 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • i agree with anon. i still stand by what i said about not staying with him for the kids, BUT i agree with the whole "go so fast with another" part of what she said.
    be on your own. take things SLOW with your friend IF you decide to start a relationship with him.
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 9:59 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I never lived in a home with a mother and a father, so i always dreamed of that for my kids...but...you cant force it
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:59 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • your son will be better off if his father is medicated or in some sort of therapy for his bi polar. whether you two are together or not, he should do it for his son. his son needs a role model!
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 10:02 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • yeah , i wouldnt be moving in with anyone...I would be trying to stand on my own two feet for awhile b4 i did anything drastic...i wouldnt want to confuse my kids by moving in with another man....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:03 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • thats a good idea. maybe moving out and being on your own will help your husband/boyfriend to realize how is behavoir is effecting everyone and he might be more motivated to get help
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 10:05 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • i think you should leave him. mabey the space would help him to appriciate his son more. you need to be happy in order for your family to be happy.
    dfwhite

    Answer by dfwhite at 10:09 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • thanks everyone...I needed to hear it from someone else....i dont have anyone to talk to...i think moving in would be a big mistake,,,who knows maybe he actually will change for the better
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:18 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

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