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Getting a child back that you lost custody of

So I dont have the best past in the world...but the main part is that its the past. I do not do the things that I use to..I am saved I go to church and I stay at home a take care of my kids.........
I had my first daughter at 19 , she is now 7, she has been living with her grandparents since she was 1 year......I get to see her now all the time...we live almost 2 hours apart so i cant see her everyday, like i wish i could.....
I really want to get her back and i am stable enough to do so...She has 3 sibling that live with me and she is really starting to ask the question . y dont I live with you too mommy.....It breaks my heart.....Her granparents are very well off and they get her everything she wants and she is the only child living in the home......so she gets all the attention...do you think that her moving in with me and not being able to give her as much as her grandparents does, or even being gone from me for so long affect her in any way?????

Answer Question
 
momofmonsters27

Asked by momofmonsters27 at 12:50 AM on Apr. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 7 (162 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • it depends what state your in, there are normally a series of courses and counciling that you have to do through the government in order to get children back, it will probably take a bit longer seeing she has been out of your care for 6 years, you should call social services in your area and find out what it will take, where does your daughter want to be and what do you think is best for her?
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 12:57 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I'm not sure what i need to do or how long it wil take...I am in oklahoma and she is in arkansas , i think i will call social services tomorrow and talk to them ......I think I am best for her and she wants to live with me so bad.....I grew up with out a mother and lived with her granparents too...I always wanted my mother in my life....my life is on the right track now and has been for a few years now...i see no reason for her not to be with me .. i just dont want it to be hard on her
    momofmonsters27

    Comment by momofmonsters27 (original poster) at 1:00 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • well you should do whatever it takes to get her back if thats what you think is best for her and its what she also wants. The best way to not make it hard on her is to still let her be strongly involved with her grand parents to go and stay with them etc, they have raised her for the last 6 years and they will have a special bond (being that they have treated her well etc) Do you have a good relationship with her gransparents? Have you mentioned wanting to get her back to them etc?
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 1:06 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • You'll have to call Social Services and the Court in the county where she now resides, since your daughter has been there more than 6 months, unless you still live in the county where the original order for them to have custody was done.

    You will need to prove that you are on the right track, not just say it. The Courts will want proof of how you can provide for her. It's not so much that they can provide her with what she wants that will matter. It's that she has been there for 6 years, and they have provided her with a stable environment. Is there anything NEGATIVE about the living situation other than you and your daughter wanting more time together?
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 1:08 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I wonder how hard this will be for the grandparents who have been raising her for the last 6 years? Do you think their hearts will break? Do you think how unfair it is to them? They stepped in and stepped up to raise a child you couldn't and now 6 years later after you finally get your life together and on track you think its okay to take this child from them? I say you've lost all rights to this child, and unless the grandparents are willing and in agreement I think you should leave things the way they are. Six years is a long time, this child doesn't know anything else but life with her grandparents.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 5:38 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I see where your coming from Meooma, and I dont know how about in this case in question but I do know that not all grandparents who raise grand children feel this way, my MIL has raised 3 of her grand children for the last 9 years, since they were babies, they are now 10,12 and 13. There is nothing she wanted more than for there parents to get there act together change there lifestyle and get there children back, she knew ideally they needed to be with there parents, this hasnt happened and I think its the last thing in my MIL's mind now , but I think many grandparents raising there grandchildren even though they would miss them dearly want the parents to step up and take responsiblity and make that change and effort and comittment in getting there children back and many times the children want it too.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:11 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

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