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2 Bumps

How many times did your SO lay hands on you before you left him?

I've never been in a situation like this. Luckily. I can imagine, that it's tough, because the guy makes you think he loves you and he won't do it again, blah blah blah. But I've heard and seen a lot of bad stuff lately and swore that I would leave straight away. You don't hit me, you don't abuse me. Physically or mentally. And if you even look at my daughter the wrong way IT'S OVER! No second chances.
Sorry guys, but .... grrrr ... it just makes me so angry at times.

 
BeachMom81

Asked by BeachMom81 at 2:42 AM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,551 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I feel the same exact way you do about this kind of situation. My husband has never laid a hand on me but if he ever did I wouldn't think twice about leaving. If someone was to lay hands on my children I'd kill them. Thats just how I am.
    tiffanynichols

    Answer by tiffanynichols at 2:46 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I've been in 3 relationships where the guy was physically and emotionally abusive. I stayed with them for so long and lost countless friends during the process. I don't know when it hit me but all of a sudden I just realized that I deserve so much more than that and even since I've chosen guys that DON'T want to hurt me and would never..and if they ever did I now have the "balls" to say "Bye". But since I've been through it I understand how hard it is to leave someone who says they love you. I think many people don't think they deserve better, and a lot of it for me was because I knew the guy I was dating was going through something (like his dad cheated on his mom and he was so sad about it) and he would tell me if I left him he would kill himself..so what do you do? Leave and let him kill himself? It's a lot trickier for women than most people think and it isn't easy. I think it's key to just not pick losers!
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 3:00 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I agree with both of you, when it comes to any kind of abuse there are no second chances in my book.
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 2:47 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • the answer is once. this hits home way too hard.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:01 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • About the time my DH put his hands on me, I'd call the cops, report his ass, file for a restraining order, and leave. That crap does NOT fly with me. Hell, I raise hell when he's yelled at me (not very often at all). I'm NOT going to allow someone to treat me badly, especially since I have daughters and a son to set an example for. I wouldn't want THEM in that kind of situation. I want my girls to know that no man should treat them poorly, and I want my son to know that he is to treat a woman right.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 3:49 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • woooow i would leave his behind in a sec
    juni21

    Answer by juni21 at 3:29 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Not in this situation, but I watched my mom suffer through 30 years of mental abuse. She stayed because he took her self worth away. It's not right, but you go through day after day of being told you're worthless and you start to believe it. We were all emotionally abused, but in different ways. Only reason we're out of the situation now is because my dad died. My mom has been remarried since 2002 and still wakes up slapping my stepdad because she thinks it's my dad. Experiencing that kind of childhood - no way will I allow it.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 3:46 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • He had a foul tempoer, I suffered mental abuse for months, I looked so rough, I didn't dress tidy because he made me feel worthless, I moved miles away from my family to live with him as I thought he'd change, but he got a whole lot worse. He freaked on me one night because I was talking on the phone to loud, told me to leave, and when I actually tried leaving he cornered me, I lashed out to get the hell out of there! After that I remember coming round in a totally different room, covered in blood, with him standing over me looking terrified saying sorry. To this day I've no idea, but I'm assuming he punched me in the face, I literraly got my coat and ran. Of course he blames me, and denies everything. Sooo wish I'd phoned the police and put him in jail!
    kylie_bob

    Answer by kylie_bob at 4:30 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • 2 years, I was to scared to leave. He had kidnapped me before and kept me locked in a room with my son for 4 days, His mother eventually found us and beat her sons ass and got us out of there. She took me home & i never looked back. I still talk to his mother, she was a rough "bad" mom but she cared about us. It took her that many days to find us and we were her only goal at the time, she even lost her job over it. Her son is now in jail doing 20-life for att. murder. I thank god for her everyday.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I understand where you are coming from because my parents used to hit each other. I vowed to myself that I wasnt gonna be in a relationship where I got abused mentaly or physically. thank god I found someone that respects me for me and doesnt treat me horriable. After grwoing up around that I wanted to get away from all that and not want my children grown up around that.
    shelle21

    Answer by shelle21 at 9:02 AM on Apr. 12, 2011