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Sister in law.. how do I deal?

My sister in law is always making suggestions on how I should parent.. Its irritating. She wants me to paint my baby's toes she is 7 months... I tell her No I am not comfortable with it right now where she is constantly sticking her toes in her mouth. Also she said " I can't wait to take her into the pond down the street to swim and the lake!"... I told her she won't be going into the lake... This aggravated my sister in law. Shes like "Where is she supposed to go swimming in the summer? The pool?? You'd rather her go into chlorine filled pool than a lake or pond??"...uggh . I personally as A Mother As her mother do not want her drinking water where Animals shit and piss. Secondly she is a baby she doesn't know how to swim Yet. I do not feel safe having someone like my sister in law take her into a lake or pond. We will do it when we are ready!! We are going to have her take swim first. She has her whole life to swim in the local Lake. My sister in law is young and immature and is not a parent. How can I get her to buzz off and quick take jabs at the way I parent?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Apr. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (20)
  • Just tell her look when you have a child you can do with it what you want this is my daughter and I make the decisions about what concerns her, be firm but polite.

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 9:15 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Well it is something you will deal with the rest of your life, not just from her, but from other family, friends, teachers, doctors etc. You just have to learn to grow a thick skin and tell people no and leave it at that. You dont need to explain yourself. My mil was always on and on about wanting to give my dd her first french fry lol. I told her she must have forgot my kids arent allowed potatoes very often and if and when my dd got a fry it would be me giving it to her. This was years ago, but eventually she figured out any firsts I would do, and she had to understand my diet for my kids too.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:15 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Just let it go for now, tell her not yet and ask her to wait until your child is old enough to walk at least.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 9:16 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I would remind her that YOU and as such YOU are the one who decides how baby will be raised, NOT her! I would also smile when she spouts her nonsense and then promptly ignore her. I also would keep an eye on her around baby to make sure she does not take it upon herself to paint toenails and take baby swimming.

    Answer by MizLee at 9:17 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • You are the mother you decide tell her that.

    Answer by itsmummy at 9:17 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Tell her how you feel............if she does not listen just be blunt! What does hubby say? Maybe if he feels the same way he ought to say something after all it is his sister. As for lake just say NO I know I would and you are the mommy so you do not have to let the little one go.

    Answer by buttonlts at 9:17 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Oops - meant to say YOU are the mom and as such.....

    Answer by MizLee at 9:17 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • It shouldn't bother you because you know she has no experience being a mother. On that note, all MOTHERS are different. There may be one that lets their child swim in the "lake" and some that wouldn't, some that would paint their nails and some that wouldn't.
    Just like you don't like being jabbed at, don't think she's crazy. Just say "oh that's what you would do if you had kids" "thanks for the idea, but we'd really like to take her swimming first" "maybe when she's older".......After a while she'll get the idea that your not going to take her suggestions and she'll stop making them.
    You do still want her to be a part of your dd's I would maybe make it possible for her to do things with YOU that are appropriate.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I agree with the first poster.

    Answer by older at 9:18 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Ooooo I have been there! When I had my first my SIL was young immature trouble maker, and did not have her own child.

    I just sort of laughed her off and ignored most of her comments. If the occasion ever came up where she wanted to take my son I would just always have a reason not too.....he's sick, tired, Dr's appointment, playdate..ect....

    Maybe eventually she will grow up and have her own child and be to busy for yours....thats what happened with my SIL :)

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:18 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

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