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So I was a tad bit mean!

Dh sent his ex a text asking her if she was taking the kids to get easter pics made. She said the oldest probably wouldnt and that she didnt even consider doing so for the younger sibling. Well he sends her a text back saying that if she needs money for them to let him know and he would send some. Im already fed up that his car SHE is driving. Sure with her own insurance she pays for, and she pays for the car note, but what about his WIFE??!! We have to SHARE a car!!! THAT pisses me off. Its not like we cant afford another car!!! She is driving his car (technically) and yes she pays for it, but what about her boyfriend??!! Why cant HE buy her a car? Anyways.. that pisses me off, so when he says crap like he will send her money... he already pays CS. Why cant she use that money?? He says its not in the agreement she has to take the kids to get pics... I get that. So its a favor she will do for my husband. MAYBE. (Im over the picture thing.. not so much the car thing)

Well anyways. I sent him a text saying that i get the whole situation, but what I wont tolerate is the way he disrespects me (as in yelling at me and cursing at me, and EVERYTIME he is stressed he blows up on me!!). He sends a text back saying its bc I want him and his ex to hate each other, and that he is tired of my "threats", that if Im going to leave him, then just do it. I said that its everytime he opens his big mouth is when I get tired and say Im going to leave. And that maybe if he looked in the mirror a little bit more, obviously someone also got sick of the treatment if she didnt even consider coming back!!

He pissed me off~! I am soooo sick of the way he treats me when he is "mad, upset, stressed" Whatever. He does it to EVERYONE!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Good for him, I say. Why are you trying to start shit? How is he disrespecting you other than NOT hating his ex? She gets the car but she pays the note. She has to tote HIS kids around don't she? That's not her boyfriend's job, not his kids.

    Answer by mhaney03 at 9:39 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • My DH is disrespecting me by the way he SPEAKS to me! Yelling and cursing at me is NOT cool!!!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:40 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I think you are over reacting. Be thankful you have a husband that takes care of his kids, many women fon't have that. How is he disrespecting you? You knew what you were getting into before you married him, if you can't accept it maybe it's time for you to go.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • My ex treated me the same way as your ex treats his ex. My ex let me use his car as long as I paid for insurance, he still gives me money for school clothes or something that is expensive that our son wants...I am married to a wonderful man now, and I still let the ex do those things for his son, he also pays child support....that child support goes for school lunches, new shoes, school supplies, or anything else he needs each month...Everyone, males and females, should ask themselves BEFORE getting into a relationship with anyone, "can I handle the relationship they have with their ex" whether it is toxic or not.... He's there for his child and by the sounds of it the mother of his it's not right to treat you like crap, but i say don't threaten it unless you mean it, so if you're fed up leave him, threats get old if you don't follow through...Good Luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I'm sorry this isn't the answer you'd like to hear but I'm with your husband you should be happy he is good to his ex because he is being a good dad by doing so, he isn't paying her rent, or giving her money for clothes he's buying pics of his kids, and really what do you want, for them to fight? For him to demand she get pictures and pay for them? what if you and he break up would you want him to treat you the way he treats her now, or the way you want him to treat her. Honestly I think you are jealous.

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 9:43 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • If she is paying for the car and insurance, he needs to transfer it to HER name...HE is liable for anything that happens in/with that car.

    As far as paying her for the photos, why doesn't HE take them?

    The way he speaks to you is NOT okay. Yes, he has kids with his ex, but if he is being so nice to her and treating you poorly, obviously he has his priorities mixed up. You being upset that his ex gets more from him than you do does NOT mean that you want them to hate each other. It means you want to be a priority over her--which DOESN'T mean you want to be a priority over the children. Mom and kids are DIFFERENT people.

    Answer by laird6372 at 9:45 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • How did he disrespect you in this situation? Because he didn't put you before his kids? Because he is willing to pay for pictures? No, that isn't included in child support. Frankly, in many cases child support doesn't really cover the cost of having a child. So he wanted to do something nice, he wants pics of his kids.

    If she is paying for the car (that I am assuming is only his by name and title) then what is the problem? I'm sure he left it with her so the she could take care of the kids- drive them around.

    Not that I know him or the entire situation, but from what the info you gave you're out of line in my opinion.

    Answer by meandrphoto at 9:46 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Im with your husband. Why are you trying to start shit? That is his ex and they have kids together, which I am sure you knew before getting married? Those are his kids you should be thanking God to have such a great man who pays child support, wants more for his kids and has their mother in a reliable car she is paying for as you said so they arent stranded. And why cant you get a car? I dont get it. If you are unhappy then you should probably leave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Yelling and cursing is not okay, but when you all fight do you "push his buttons"? I think that you should take the kids and get their Easter pictures done, and say your sorry. It is much better for everyone to get along in a split family situation, remember he is MARRIED to you, not to her, perhaps re-evalute your actions, he is trying to make sure his kids have a way to get around when they are with her. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but take a good look and ask yourself if you make the relationship harder than it needs to be, and I would ask if you could budget in a car for you to drive.

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:50 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • @kimigoo- I LOVE my step children. they mean the world to me. IM the one ALWAYS searching for new things to buy them, and send them. They live in another state, so I cant really take them myself- I understand the whole car situation. I do. It still just bothers me a bit. Plus, if she gets into a wreck (God forbid) that wouldnt be a good thing for my dh.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:53 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

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