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4 Bumps

So I guess this is it.

Well mu husband left me. We have been married 6 months. 6 months before we got married he left me, and I lost my place and vechile, because he refused to help me. He got on drugs & was hanging with the wrong crowd. Off course when we got together he stopped talking to them & stopped using. A month & a half after we got married he left again. Did the same thing, got on drugs, hanging with the wrong people, starting stealing from people, and went to jail. So i went & got him out n he said he relized I was the only one there for him & truly loved him. Then he left 2 days later again, and i lost another house & vechile. This 2nd time we were split up for 2 & a half months. Then I got back with him. We decided that it would be best to move & get away from the drugs & his ex drug friends. So we moved 4 and & half hrs away from my family & friends. I was so comitted to make it work. 2 months later, he takes another vechile. Thing is we weren't even fighting. He was taking a shower, I ask why he didnt tell me cuz we always take showers together, he said because he didnt want to take a shower with me, well i got upset and slammed the door and got in bed. I was going to apologize cuz i know i over reacted. But he got out of the shower put his clothes on and just left. Didn't even say anything to me. He left me & my kids in the house with no vechile, and I dont even know this town or anyone in it. He wouldn't answer my calls or text for 5 days, until i tell him i will call his bail bonds on him. Now, i didn't want to threatin him, but i had no food, and my phone was about to go out. So he gave me a ride and told me he was taking me back home that weekend. On the way bringing me home, we both said that we were going to work on ourselves, Then talk about getting back together in the future. Soits been over a wk and i text him the other day to see how he was doing & he said he didn't ever want to be together again, and he would send me divorce papers. He has done so sos so many things that hurt me during our relationship. Everytime we get broke and things get hard he leaves me. I have lost 3 places and 3 vecchiles. I tried so hard and i know I did, Im not blaming myself. Im stayin at my parents again, but im fixing to get my GED, go to college, and get my own place, my own vechile (to where it cant be taken) and get on my feet I will never be dependent on a guy again. My kids need a stable home, and he cant just come in and out of thier lives like that. Im hurting. Its hard to know I will never see him again. I told him i still wanted to be friends, but he says no. i need to be cheered up.

Answer Question
 
Mrs.Ferri

Asked by Mrs.Ferri at 10:08 AM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (182 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Depending on yourself is something I taught both of my daughters. I know it's hard but you have to be strong and do it. He's a bad example for your kids. I left my x over the same thing. You can do this
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:12 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Why are you putting up with him??? He obviously does not have the emotions you have invested in the relationship. You need to pull yourself together and move on with your life for you and the kids. He is not ready to change. He is probably already using again. If you stay there you're just dragging yourself down into the sewer with him..
    gutterflower585

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 10:12 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • So sorry hun, thats a shitty situation! But just focus on you & the kids, i wouldnt even waste my time thinking about him. You can do everything you want to accomplish in life! *hugs*
    Mrs_Harsh

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 10:13 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I feel for you, I really do. My ex did the same thing. In the end it makes you a stronger person, and the hurt, hate, pain all those emotions eventually just fade away. Now it's time to start thinking about your kids' future, you don't need a man like that in there life, or yours either! i am so sorry you have to go through this, but take it as a learning experience. Maybe friends is a bad thing too, friends are always there to help you, confide in you, and just be there in general, not someone he's capable of being at this point in his life. He needs help, for him and his kids sake. Work and focus on yourself, and stay strong, don't give in,....even if he says he's changed, look for the signs, and take some time to really make sure he's changed, don't jump right back into the water with no life jacket! =P I wish you all the best, and you can PM if you ever need to vent or talk..
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 10:16 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • sounds like good riddance to me. Be strong, don't let this irresponsible child of a man ruin your life. Move on, if he comes back i hope you'll be slamming the door in his face.

    If you take him back, then it IS your fault when it happens again.

    "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" You have already been fooled twice, don't let it happen again. This man is a friggen JOKE!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:17 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • it looks like a big old mess. i'm glad you realize that you need to start over by yourself and are thinking about your kids. on the other hand im glad he said no to you being friends as it seems like you sometimes need him to get through life. i know you can do this on your own without him!

    Show him that you don't need him in order to get through life. If you go back to him, it'll be a big old mess again. it seems as though drama follows him.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 10:17 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I just hate that 6 months in and my marriage has failed. I meant it when i said those vows, i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but apparenntly that wont happen. All he ever did was blame me. Most of the time I told myself I was the problem and everything was my fault cuz i nag to much, but then sometimes i tell myself that I kno it wasnt my fault cuz i did everything i could to make it work, i went thru a lot of unesscary bullshit that i didnt deserve. Im just so confused, I can't tell if it is me or him.
    Mrs.Ferri

    Comment by Mrs.Ferri (original poster) at 10:19 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • It isn't your fault, some people are not meant for marriage for a number of reasons. I do not think this is you because you appear to be quite dedicated to the cause. You just got a bad egg, I am sorry to say.

    The best news is that you are free to have a much better life without this stress and turbulence in your life. You need to get to a good psychologist to help you get your feelings and thoughts straightened out, if possible. And most of all so you can start setting up a strategy to avoid more "bad eggs" down the road. Unfortunately, this can turn into a bad cycle, so you want to stop making these choices at all costs, and it usually takes some help to do that for many, many people.

    You aren't alone. Many women have been through similar experiences. But make yours the success story. You will get away, do better for your children and I promise that someone SO much better will be around the corner if you give it a chance.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 10:23 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • ...cont..

    And I congratulate you for starting with your GED. That is exactly the right first step. You just make your list and hang it on the wall. Every step and goal your reach, you cross off. Soon you will rise above all of this!
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 10:25 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I'm so sorry. *hugs* definately get your GED and go to school. If I were you I'd get a protection order against him to protect yourself and your kids. And you need to file for custody of your children because if he gets ahold of them he can take them and doesn't have to bring them back because there is no parenting plan. In the protection order you can ask for him to get alcohol and drug classes and parenting classes. Do not let him see his children again until he is sober and make sure it is supervised. GL and you can message me if you want to talk or need advice, I'm going through all this curt stuff as we speak!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:26 AM on Apr. 12, 2011

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