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Can I file for divorce without a custody agreement or child support agreement?

If my husband and I are comfortable with an unofficial arrangement for child support, custody, and visitation - which we have had during 2 years of separation - then can I file for divorce without making any of those arrangements official? What I mean is, can I file for divorce without there ever being a legally binding custody agreement, and without filing for child support?


Asked by FelipesMom at 12:46 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 24 (18,972 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Also, you will have to be specific about the child support thing with the judge. I had a friend who was not & ended up having to pay it anyway. They had to go BACK to court with a lawyer agreeing that they did no want each other to pay child support.

    So all in you really can't. But, once you are can do whatever you want. The only time you HAVE to abide by the divorce decree, is if one of the parents gets pissed because the other isn't following the decree. Then they can take you court & force you to abide by the divorce decree. But, if you both get along & can talk everything out, then that probably won't happen.

    My ex & i don't follow our divorce decree at all. We arrange things our own way. We get along, it's never been an issue for us.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:00 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Yes, but I don't recommend it.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:49 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • As far as I know when you go for a divorce custody will have to be established. You can make up your own order with a mediator, but when you face the judge the judge might change the whole thing all together. I wish you the best of luck!

    Answer by dolphingoddess at 12:50 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • One of you guys is going to have to be "primary" parent regardless & with that usually comes some guidelines.

    They'll give you a huge packet of information you have to give them, so it's kind of unavoidable. You can do it without a lawyer, but all that paperwork is very confusing. You can walk right into the courthouse, buy the paper work packet for about $80, fill it out properly with everything in it that it says you need...then you go & file the paperwork & make a court date.

    BUT, those divorce packets ask for a lot of information about your family situations & finances. It will also ask you what you want to do with child arrangement gets complicated when you do it on your own.

    Good luck!

    FYI "since there is no agreement either one of you can decide anything"

    This is not true, the courts are very smart about that not happpening. Cont...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:57 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I think you can....BUT........ they may want a "parenting agreement" signed. Or you both could wirte something stating that is not an issue for you ( which honestly, if u don't have one in place, down the line he could file for full custody or refuse any type of financal support - then it would be up to you go take him to court and file later) if things were to change.

    TRUST NO MAN!!! you are divorcing and been separated for a reason. ( He could remarry and go for custody of your child for a more stable home enviornment)

    Answer by kkbird at 12:57 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • dolphin is correct...the judge can ultimately make the final decision on how it's going to go....

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:01 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Sure, just tell your lawyer what you want.. you can work out custody and child support later

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:49 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • It's a terrible place that you are in right now. Yes, the only problem is, since there is no agreement either one of you can decide anything. If you left him today and let him see your child in 3 days.. He has every right to keep the child as you do. Meaning, the cops can't say give the child back, and there is nothing you can do about it until you go to court and make arrangements. If you need a lawyer that doesn't cost what you make in a year, I can direct you to someone that can help. It costs like 26 bucks a month (only as long as you're interested), and the lawyers actually care and talk to you! And, if you don't need the help now, it might help you avoid future situations. You would be able to call for advice 24/7

    Answer by kbishop8688 at 12:52 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • thanks kbishop, it has been a bit scary being in this situation, but we are both OK with it now I think. I appreciate your empathy, but since this has worked for us so far, I am actually less apprehensive about continuing with the same situation than I am about putting things down in writing that would end up being legally binding.

    Comment by FelipesMom (original poster) at 12:56 PM on Apr. 12, 2011