Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Dad is now mom, how to help kids addapt

I have a son that has two little one. One is 2 1/2 and the other is 8 months. Mom left them all, said would rather pay child support. Anyways back to him and the kids. He has no clue how to be mom, potty train, dress and many other things. Can I get some suggestions of how to help him without taking over?

Answer Question

Asked by crickett69 at 1:11 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • bless your heart and his!!!!!!! May I ask where ( state) this took place in????

    Answer by kkbird at 1:13 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I would say he needs books. Go to the library and get a few, or go buy some at the bookstore. I have a great one from the American Academy of Pediatricians but there are lots of them out there. The SuperNanny books are pretty good, too. Those will be a good resource to look thru for things like potty training, discipline, etc. and also to go to if one of the kids wakes with a fever in the night or whatever. All he can do is try to be prepared and knowledgeable. And then all he can do is love his kids, try his best, and have patience with both them and himself. Some counseling would probably be really helpful, too, because I am sure he is hurt, and angry and scared so it would help him deal with all of those feelings as well as give him some tools to deal with the kids emotions over being left by their mom. Good luck to them.

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:24 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • there is a parenting schools ( you can search on internet) , they teach everything - change diapers, how to feed ,what to do in emergency and etc. Keep the kids while he attending the school and then he can do most of the stuff on his own! it is fun and realy interesting and he can meet friends, who maybe in the same situation, also tell him to join single dad' support group, or some father rights group, it will help him , because he can have a support from real single dads who was in the situation. And attending the school will help a lot if one day his ex changes her mind and will ask for custody, then your son has to prove in court that he is good and caring father and the kids should be with him. Best of luck to you and your son! You are great mom and wonderful grandmother!

    Answer by annabl1970 at 1:25 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • That is so sad. As a Mom I just can't fathom how a mother could just walks away. Makes me want to cry, but they are lucky to have Dad and you.
    Suggest he finds a parents group or takes the kids to a baby and me gym class to help them bond and so he can meet a support system. He could also hire a helper to babysit while he there to help him through the rough spots and give him time to get his groove.
    The Toddler Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Troubleshooting Tips, and Advice on System Maintenance is a book that my husband really enjoyed (although he laughed at it I found it with his reading material with a book mark). It is written as you would write a car manual--something a guy can relate to more.
    Let him hang himself to dry a little and do it his way but be very empathetic and insist he always has a lifeline and he can call anytime so he feels good calling when he really is stuck.

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 3:17 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • my BIL went to something called Daddy boot camp maybe there are classes that he could go to.
    I'd say when things come up rather than just doing it for him, teach him how.

    If it's any consolation, the kids mom may be going through postpartum depression, this sort of thing is more common than you may realize.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 3:25 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Aww good luck

    Answer by christinahenry at 12:39 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.