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Help, I have been married to my new husband for 6 months now and I am finding that he is very jelous of my relationship with my daughters? Has anyone else seen this happen?

He has 3 kids 19 boy, 17 boy, 10 girl. I have 3 kids 13 girl, 10 girl, 7 boy. We are all living under the same roof. I am very close to my kids especially since we had been alone for over 3 years. I do my best to treat each of the 6 kids as individuals and still keep the rules as close to the same and fair as possible, but yet my husband seems to have a huge deal over the time I spend with the kids especially my girls. If I do something for his daughter nothing is ever commented on, but if I go out of my way for mine he seems to have a huge problem with it especially my 13 year old. Is this unique to my life or is it a common thing.

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CAC09

Asked by CAC09 at 2:32 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Common thing when you dont date long enough to figure out who your are marrying. This is something that should have come out in the 5 or more years recommended to date when you have children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I don't have experience with that, but I do have friends who have started to date again after divorces and had men become jealous of the time they spent with their children...basically, the bottom line, is that they come first, and that shouldn't change. It has been a deal breaker for a couple of their relationships.

    To me it sounds like your situation might be a little different? Is he jealous of the time you are spending away from him with his girls, or is it more like he thinks that his kids are missing out on something if you do something for yours? I guess I'm not fully understanding which way his jealousy is showing? For my friends, it has been the partners feeling jealous of not having the "alone time" they wanted or the attention they thought was going to the children instead.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 2:38 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Blended families come with their own unique set of problems. The two of you should sit down and get this figured out and the sooner the better. It could defnitely turn into a deal breaker.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 2:41 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • How cute the Brady Bunch... I have a big wonderful family 4 kids of my own.

    Everyone should be treated equally.... There will be some children that need more attention from one or the other and that is fine but I would recommend you guys getting on the same page.

    Family meeting with everyone but work on Hubby first. It will be hard and remember you both need to listen to te the kids they have feelings too and make sure you take them into consideration. :) Good luck, you can do it..
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:43 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • "Common thing when you dont date long enough to figure out who your are marrying. This is something that should have come out in the 5 or more years recommended to date when you have children."

    This kind of crap is my favorite kind of sanctimony. Believe it or not, people change. People hide things, they can be very good and do this for a long time. You should be careful throwing this stone. There is probably tons of crap in your life someone could pick at and say you didn't do what was "recommended." I highly doubt you're perfect.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:57 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • You are right... tons of crap and I am not perfect. Do my best when it comes to the kids though and with my marriage. Never tried to say I was perfect and neither is my husband. He's got lots of crap too. FYI--I have known him for 25 years. Just looking for advice.
    CAC09

    Comment by CAC09 (original poster) at 3:33 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I have seen a little of this from my husband. We have been married for 2 yrs and I take care of his 3 kids full time. I am especially close with his oldest boy who is 9 and anytime I want to do something special for him or take some time to play video games with him my husband acts jealous! I'm not sure if hes afraid of his son being closer to me or jealous of his son for taking his time with me away?
    JLang

    Answer by JLang at 4:09 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • please sit down with him & let him now you love all the children including his.. I think you should post the rules where they can be seen & try as hard as you can to spend time with all the children. if after talking him he is still upset I think marriage/family counseling will be needed. maybe you & him have a ceremony (party)with you welcoming his children & him welcoming yours.. both of you say vows to the children promising to do your best to love, respect, and discipline them as you do your birth children.. I decided I am doing that in my blended family..
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 6:46 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • im not in that position and never have been but prob is normal but i wuld really pay attention and make sure what u think is really how it is
    flipper4u21

    Answer by flipper4u21 at 9:44 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

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