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Found out my son was looking at porn even after he was grounded from the computer. What should be the punishment?

He will be 13 in May. In your opinion what should be his punishment when he wasn't even allowed to be on the computer in the first place. So as far as I am concerned there are two matters here!

He was grounded from the computer because he broke it.

 
AmyLynn5398

Asked by AmyLynn5398 at 3:21 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 17 (3,564 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • I agree with the others, if the computer is in his room or a room where you can not see his activity - you need to move it. Second lock the computer with a password so he can't use it without your permission.
    As far as the porn is concerned, I would probably be a little freaked out about it just because I can't imagine my boys looking at it. However I would definitely be having a discussion about sex if you haven't already. I'd also talk about healthy relationships and that while porn does show the physical act it doesn't reflect the true feelings and emotions of a real relationship and it doesn't show the respect that one should have towards someone of the opposite sex. There really isn't anything wrong in the curiousity of it, but there are definitely conversations to be had, in a calm, non judgemental way. You want him to be comfortable to come to you about anything, try not show judgement or too much anger.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 4:55 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • First off no need to worry, its totaly normal for boys to be super curious at the age. Just have a talk with him and continue to ground, explai its normal but still not allowed.
    JamieXXS

    Answer by JamieXXS at 3:30 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • take the mouse and/or keyboard and lock it in your trunk.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 3:25 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • been there with my son. put a password on the computer so he can't use it without you putting in the password. I would ground him longer from using the computer.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 3:25 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I personally would not let him touch the computer again especially without supervision. Put the computer in a public room where he is always watched as a way to keep him off of it.

    amazinggrace83

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 3:26 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • First you need to read the help files and USE the parental control's. You can also password lock the computer to keep him off it. I cant tell you how to punish him, but were it my child, he wouldnt be using the internet for at least 6 month.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 3:36 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I know porn is bad, but are you seriously punishing your son for being curious about sex? Has your husband given him the sex conversation yet? I mean...what normal teenage boy DOESN'T look at porn? I'm not trying to encourage it, but you shouldn't make him feel bad for being curious about it. Have a conversation about it instead of grounding him first.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 3:38 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • first off, no computers in their room!!!!! second ground him from it for a while, put the computer visible so you can be aware of where he goes..... parental controls...so many options....
    suzi960

    Answer by suzi960 at 3:40 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • no computer in his room is right. also, be lucky its just curiosity and have his father or even you have "the talk" with him. I'd rather find porn and talk to him appropriately rather than punish him and make him feel horrible about a natural part of life. you may embarrass him and then he may never come to you or trust he can on this matter. better to find porn then a girl or surprise pregnancy
    -lovingliam-

    Answer by -lovingliam- at 3:47 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I don't think the porn viewing is an issue here. Teens (especially boys) are curious and that is natural. He's probably been masturbating since at least 11, so simply forbidding him from using a computer won't squelch his burgeoning sex drive.

    As long as he's not searching for really creepy stuff (pedophilia, rape scenarios, etc.), I wouldn't shame or punish him for having hormones.

    Tell him that his desires and curiosities are normal.

    The real issue here is him using the computer when he wasn't supposed to.

    Take away some privileges and explain why. Explain that ignoring your rules will result in consequences. Such a consequence might be that he can use the computer, but only when you are sitting next to him.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 6:56 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

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