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Can anyone give me advice...please...very long... adult content

im 24 yrs old i have 3 kids. 2 boys then a lil girl. i meet my husband after i was 4 months pregnant with my daughter. we fell madly in love well so i thought... we have been trying to get pregnant and we have but we have miscarried all 5 times. i recently found out i was pregnant after going thru so much stress n trying to bring 2 broken families in one. and its very stressful me and my husband have grown apart and ive caught him txtn his exs and we have almost ended our marriage a few times. i love him with all my heart but im hanging on to the man i met not the man he is today. he compares me to his ex and that wasnt even a real relationship they dated on and off when they were 12 13 and 14 and when he got locked up she left him for his best friend not even a week after he left. so im his #1 relationship and hes been hurt by basically everyone in his life and yes when we first got together i still talked to my daughters father but i saw that my husband was so much more of a man than anyone ive been with. 3 weeks ago i had an ultrasound and they told me i was having twins but it seems that one sack doesnt have a baby in it and the 2nd sack had a perfectly healthy 7 week heartbeat they made me another ultrasound and my appointments for tomorrow. Im so scared cuz when we found out we were pregnant we started bonded more in the last couple weeks and i think if i miscarried hes gunna leave me. he doesnt talk to me and i understand hes been hurt so its hard but we been together for 2 yrs now and he opened up more to me when we first met then he does now and hes my husband. yesterday i woke up and i went to the bathroom nothing at noon i went again i had light pink blood spotting when i whipped and then i called the ob/gyn and they told me to rest and get lots of fluids. so i did but i have a family to take care of so i cooked dinner and at 7:30 pm i went back to the bathroom and the light pink had gone to small amounts of bright blood so me and my husband went to the hospital well they discharged me with threatened miscarriage and about 1am i went to the bathroom again and i was bleeding bad real heavy and bright bright red blood. I was passing blood clots about the size of a quater to the size of my plam. i was freaking out and my lower stomach was hurting so bad that i was crying myself back to sleep. and my husband woke up everytime i made a sound or ran to the bathroom well between 1am and 4am i double paded side by side my underwear and i changed them twice and finally fell back to sleep and woke up at 7am again and nothing in my pad im not even bleeding now, i called the ob/gyn again and they told me to keep my ultrasound appointment for tomorrow and they will see if i had a miscarriage or not. i asked if it could be possible that i was passing the sack of the twin that didnt develop and she said anything is possible. im just so scared that i have miscarried and my husband is acting like something is wrong which i know he has to hurt cuz he just recently he just started to get excited cuz i was starting to show n get a lil bump. im praying i just pasted the baby that wasnt devoloping and i still have a healthy 10 week baby. im so scared i need some advice. i feel if i lose this baby i lose my marriage and my family i worked so hard for and gone thru so much pain to keep strong and loving.

Answer Question
 
Taken0126

Asked by Taken0126 at 3:28 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 7 (156 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • A baby won't make your marriage work, nor should it be able to tear it apart, my advice is to work on your relationship.
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 3:32 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I wish you well

    On the other side, if he leaves you because of this, he isn't worth the price of a rope to hang him with. Babies should not be made to keep you together, they should be made because of the reason you are together...the love you share.

    It sounds like he needs to get over his past and realize that you are a different person and cannot and should not be compared to anyone.
    As for you talking to your ex, he is the father of your baby (ies) and should be kept in the childrens lives. Your husband came into this relationship knowing that you have baggage in the form of an ex. If he wasn't prepared for that, he should have left. He didn't so he is going to have to get over it and realize that the ex will always be in your life.
    If he is straying because you are miscarrying, then he needs to stray and stay gone. Unless he is willing to go to counciling so that you can work it out. GL!
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:36 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I'm so sorry your going through this type of situation you sound like a wonderful woman im pretty sure it was the baby that wasnt developing that you were passing dont stress yourself out so much just try to stay calm and wait for tomorrows ultrasound let us know how everything went . Good Luck
    alexia_09

    Answer by alexia_09 at 3:37 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I thought I heard once that it is possible for one twin to make it while the other doesn't. It was called "vanishing twin" or something. I lost my first pregnancy. *hugs* It does sound like it's happening. I hope your appointment goes well.
    As for the man though. I'd be worried if he is comparing you to some chick he hardly knew a long time ago... He needs to get his act together and stay in the now and decide what he wants. Talk to him about what you both want.
    ThatBoysMom

    Answer by ThatBoysMom at 3:38 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • i'm so sorry ur going through this but my advice is that u stay calm and not get stressed out cuz that can make u miscarry and thats not good.... just tell him the past is histroy the future is a mistroy and the presant is a preasnt thats why its called preasnt....
    mommymtz

    Answer by mommymtz at 4:59 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

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