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When is enough enough?

My son and his fiancee recently moved into my Mother In-Law's home, she is in a nursing home so they are there taking care of it and making sure it isn't just sitting there.

His Fiancee (we'll call her Taylor) has two children from a marriage she has been trying to end for over 2 years, she collects money monthly from her soon to be exhusband totaling $800 a month. She doesn't work and has chosen to stay home with her two young daughters who are 2 and 5 (oldest starts school THIS fall) because the cost of daycare would be more than she would make working currently.

My son (we'll call him Keith) works 36-38 hours a week an hour from where they live. His truck gets very poor gas mileage and goes through $20 a day in gas if he drives it to and from work.

"Keith" came to us and threw well... an adult temper tantrum because he can't afford the gas on his truck so we loaned him our newer model truck while him and my Husband fix up the older car my Mother-In-Law used to drive.. This was 5 months ago, is it wrong of me to want our truck back? And he overdrafted his checking account, he isn't sure how it happened.. Would it be wrong of me to give him money to correct his error?

They are great kids and I love "Taylor's" little girls to death so please don't bash on her.. the papers are filed he is delaying it again.

When is enough enough and when do I cut our son off and take back our truck?

Both "keith" and "taylor" are in their early 30's if that helps at all.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • To me it doesn't matter how old they get, if you can help why not? if you need the truck then ask for it back, but my kids will always get help from me.

    Answer by older at 4:12 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Tell him to start looking for another job, and saving up for another car. If he cant afford to go to work, theres no sense in wasting time in that job. I would tell him the smart thing to do would be to find another job, and that he needs to give your car back because you need it. Gotta let him grow up some time.

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 4:10 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • No, sounds like you've helped him a great deal. he has transportation :)

    Answer by yesmaam at 4:11 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • You gave him the truck to use while the car was being fixed..did the car get fixed? If so, take the truck back. If not, then give him a time frame for when you'd like it back since you guys agreed on the situation prior. I'm not sure what I'd do about the money thing. Are they paying rent there? If they aren't paying for many bills then there should be more than enough money between the 2 of them to make ends meet.

    Answer by Renee3K at 4:11 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • It is enough when you decide it is. Help him get his own transportation if you want but don't put yourself in a position you are not comfortable with.

    Answer by thecoffeefairy at 4:11 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Um, NOW is when enough is enough! You are enabling him. Get your truck back. And triple dog dare him to throw a temper tantrum on you again. Seriously.

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:11 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Is the other truck fixed yet? you should wait til the other truck is fixed before you start having a tantrum your self.

    Answer by stitchintime at 4:11 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • When you want him to grow up and stand on his own two feet, as long as you help him he will abuse it, now that's not to say you can't help him occasionally in a crisis but if it's gettign excessive then you have to cut the apron strings for your own sanity and pocketbook.

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 4:12 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I would say now its hard when it's your child but being in there 30's it is time and he needs to learn you will not bail him out all the time good luck

    Answer by devinalexis at 4:12 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • He is too proud to ask her for money, the $800 a month she receives is for basically child support and they are trying to stick very hard toward that putting money away for their education. The house is paid off but they did pay the taxes on it this year, they pay all the bills on the house and put gas in the truck everytime. Guess I should have added that she comes to pick him up from work every friday after work so we get our truck back but he refuses to drive the jetta in because he isn't on the title and the divorce isn't final. Gas for our truck is running him almost $500 a month. "Keith" works at the shop with his father here in the town we live in and has worked there for going on 12 years now. I want to help them I just don't want to over help them. The car is not fixed yet, everytime we think we've got the problem figured out something new comes up.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:15 PM on Apr. 12, 2011