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2 Bumps

My daughter hates my boyfriend specially after he yelled at her. He is a great guy and I love hime. what to do?

My boyfriend grew up in a very old fashion environment. He could not stand the fact that my 15 year old daughter ignored him and did not talk to him. This behavior has been going on for about a year. He was tolerant for a while until one day, he confronted her. Unfortunately, I did not see that coming and I was very surprise myself. I remained quite. My daughter felt horrible because he yell at her and called her a brat with no manners and I was not able to do anything. I was in shock myself. I know he blew out. My daughter did talk back tying to defend herself.

It has been over a year and they have not spoken since.

He is sorry how he handled the situation but he has not apologized to her. He thought she needed to hear the truth. On the other hand, my daughter feels that I have betrayed her because I did not defend her when he was yelling at her.

My boyfriend told me he's willing to meet halfway with my daughter bu

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spring0321

Asked by spring0321 at 4:39 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • He needs to take the initiative and apologize to her -- even if she does not reciprcate. SHE is a child -- he is not. I would not do well with a man that yelled at my child. I would expect that behavior from her, but not him?
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 4:42 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I'm with your daughter on this one, You should have spoken to her about her behavior, not him. He should never have yelled at her no matter how frustrated HE found the situation. If that were my daughter being yelled at for whatever reason, the guy would be gone. Fini end of the discussion.
    Wyndi

    Answer by Wyndi at 4:43 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • No boyfriend of mine would EVER get away will yelling at my DD or calling her a brat. You need to re-evaluate that relationship & your priorities. You SHOULD have defended her. She is your blood & he is one of the MANY fish in the sea.
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 4:43 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • with*
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 4:44 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Well, if he were my boyfriend, I would have pulled him aside asking why he felt the need to yell at my daughter. That isn't the way to win her over. I totally see where your daughter Is coming from. I eouldnt let any man yell at my kids. ( except their father) Your bf needs to look at it through your daughters eyes, and vise versa, I'd set them both down,and tell them neither can get up until it's settled. Id let your daughter know that you love her,but you are also in love with your BF.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 4:45 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • First, he is not her parent and was out of line to say anything to your daughter without talking to you first.

    Second, why was it him that had to take the initiative? Why didn't you tell your daughter that she needs to be respectful towards someone you have feelings for?
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 4:45 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • He should be the adult and apologize and talk to her. Him yelling at her and calling her a brat is uncalled for and rude. I wouldnt have put up with that or just sit there and not say anything. She's YOUR daughter, you need to protect her and be the one person she can count on to be there. She probably feels like its you and him against her.
    k.raine

    Answer by k.raine at 4:48 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Thats about some BULL!!!! I wouldn't even talk to you after that. 1st of all...... HE IS NOT HER FATHER. ANYTHING TO DO WITH CORRECTING HER OR DISCIPLINE NEEDS TO COME FROM YOU..... NOT SOME BOYFRIEND OF MOMS.

    BIG BF CAN'T MAN UP AND APOLOGIZE TO THE GIRL but can tell you he is "willing" to meet half way.... half way to what???? controlling YOU or your daughter???

    Hope he's worth it!!!!! There aint NO GUY worth losing a child over.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 4:53 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • – collapse
    Why is your daughter not showing an ounce of respect. She couldnt even speak to him for about a year. Wtf., you as her mother should have been intervened! He already said he will apologize but your daughter is out of line.
    mommyg24

    Answer by mommyg24 at 4:54 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • That doesn't sound like much of a great guy to me. Let's see....he blew up at an adolescent girl, called her a name or names, admits secretly to making an error and can not bring an apology forward to her, and now is willing to meet half way...mind you not all the way.

    I am sure the girl is no angel and was being disrespectful, but he was out of line. I also agree that you should have not allowed this no talking business to go on for a year...where are you in this picture, why aren't you disciplining her?

    I do feel concerned for your daughter, this boyrfriend comes across to me as very non-compassionate and not the best role model. I would be concerned.

    He needs to know that being a parent is not all about tolerance and having control...the ability to love, forgive and understand the child is part of the equation too.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 4:58 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

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