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Thinkin about gettin back with bf

me and my boyfriend were together for almost 4 years and we broke up a while ago. we have kid and hes the best dad ever. we broke up because i was not happy with how he treated me. it isnt like he was mean to me and he never hurt me or anything, he was just always busy a lot and didnt make me feel like he cared a lot. when i broke up with him he acted like he didnt care a lot but time has past and he acts totally diffrent now he seems like he cares and wants it to be diffrent. i am confused because i miss him and i want my kid to have a good family and i believe him that he is sorry and i do think that we will be happy as long as he means it when he says that he always cared. when he treated me good he treated me good and like i said he was never really bad to me just didnt pay me much attention. i can tell he knows what he lost and he misses his child i am just confused and i was hoping for advise. a good guy who loved you is worth at least trying again and seeing if he means it right? i am young and i could find someone else if i want but i dunno i think it might be worth at least tryin.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • If you think he has changed and knows what he had, give it another try, I think its worth a shot at least.

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 4:58 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I would take it VERY slow and make him show you that it is a permanent change. If he is sincere he won't mind the wait at the chance to have you forever. I also wouldn't be a couple in front of the kids until you know for sure. Having to see their parents together then break up then together then break up is tough. Better to spare them the false hope until your for sure.

    just my .02

    Answer by kayslay at 4:59 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I agree 100% with Kayslay.

    Answer by Marix3 at 5:09 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I would see absolutely no harm in giving him another chance, but I would keep sex completely out of it. I would look for depth of character and meaningful signs of maturity and commitment. The ultimate test will be if he wants his family back badly enough that he would be willing to commit to you in marriage. That's what I would want and that's the only think I would settle for. I would not simply go back to however things were before. And I would probably tell him the ground rules up front. That way, if he's not on the same page as you, then you won't be wasting any more time on someone who just isn't marriage material.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:12 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • "The ultimate test will be if he wants his family back badly enough that he would be willing to commit to you in marriage"

    while I do agree marriage is in theory the ultimate commitment i would not take that as proof that he has changed. People get married for all the wrong reasons all the time. Don't let marriage be your proof that he is serious because nothing keeps him from reverting right back to old habits once your married and then your really in a mess. Just don't rush it please. You think breaking up as Bf/Gf is hard that is a whole new level of complication lol.

    Answer by kayslay at 5:20 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • yeah i know what you mean about going slow. thats what i wanna do just see how things go slowly and make sure that he is for real about it. i think he is a really good guy and he is a great dad. worst that happens is nothing changes and we stay how we are. best that happens is he really sees what is important and treats me like i diserve. i know he loves me and if he is serious that he has seen the light then i hope he really has.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:34 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • i talked to my mom alot about it and she thinks the same thing but i dont know. if he loves me even 10 percent of how much he says he does i know that well be happy. our kid will be so happy to have him back home with us and i will finally be treated the right way like i should. i hope he really means it but there is only one way to find out.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:32 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I think im gonna go for it. he seems like he really knows what he had and howw close he is to losing it all the way.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:45 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

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