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2 Bumps

How have your marriages been affected by having children?

I receive answers to this question already but closed out the question and I didn't want to do that so I'm reposting it. I have two children and it has not been easy. My olders is 3 yrs old. my youngest is 3 months old. Plus my husband works night shift so it is hard for us to have conversations.

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Asked by Les38 at 5:43 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • It's made me fall in love with my husband again for a whole new set of reasons, watching him with our children. He's a wonderful father.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 5:46 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • well we had our first child VERY quickly into the marriage... we had only been married 1 yr 5 mo. when I gave birth.

    It really brought us close, a deep deep bond.  It required us to communicate clearly, I leaned FAST that he is NOT mind reader... and have gotten VERY good at telling him what I need.  

    There have been growing pains, joys, and lessons with each new kid and each new stage.  We now have two teens and a tween.  I think we are a GREAT parenting team.  Not perfect... no way near... but we are a pretty good team, and so far have pretty great kids.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • We found it kind of stressful but it got a lot better after we made a few changes. I know for us it seem harder because we had over a year to ourselves so we got to comfortable with it. I know that's not the case for everyone but for us I think it made it harder.

    Answer by lizziebreath at 5:50 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • We have three children, 4, 3 and 1 1/2. At times it gets stressful, such as last night when all three of them woke up for some reason during the night and we end up with two in our bed. I am home with them all day as well have an in-home daycare. Dh does construction. He is usually physically exhausted at the end of the day and I am mentally exhausted, not much communicating going on there at times, lol. Dh does get frustrated some times because he feels as though I am not listening to him as I also tend to the kids, such as at dinner time. I don't know what we would do if we didn't have family in the area. I guess find a regular babysitter. We always try to go out at least once if not twice a month by ourselves. Or the kids just go to my in-laws and we just come home to be alone for a couple of hours. It is crazy at times but I wouldn't change it.

    Answer by JamieLK at 5:53 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • It's been stressful for us but I really can't put it on our kids. Our first was born very early in our marriage, before our first anniversary actually. We didn't plan that to happen. I was so sick during my pregnancy I had to quit my job. My DH didn't deal with all the financial responsibility being his, not to mention becoming a husband and father in such a short time. Some of it I didn't handle well either as I got every shred of responsibility for our son who didn't know daddy for the first 18 months of his life because DH was more concerned with being out having fun than being an adult. We had very bad times and I almost left him more than once. Most of that I chalk up to me being fed up and pissed off and him having the idea he could do whatever he wanted since he made the money. I heard years ago that adversity builds character. I don't believe that anymore. I think adversity reveals character.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • well it pulls us apart becuase he doesnt want anymore kids and i do and he doesnt want the responsibility of kids at all so he walks out on ussometimes but at this moment we are not together and dont think we will be back together

    Answer by flipper4u21 at 8:32 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I admit, I have a great marriage and 5 gret kids, they made us love each other more! Sorry!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 7:41 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

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