Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

My sister wants my opinion on her virginity!!!

She's 19 and she's still a virgin. She's GORGEOUS. Like, seriously. It's truly shocking that in this day and age, she's not had sex yet. I'm proud of her! In a lot of ways it adds to her sex appeal!

I lost my virginity at 16. I don't regret it because even though I was young and stupid, I truly thought I was going to marry this guy so it was worth it to me to give him everything. Of course, I was dead wrong, but I still don't regret it!

Now my sister wants me to tell her it's okay for her to lose her virginity. I can't do that. I don't want her too- but the reason she's asking ME and not MOM is because she doesn't want me to be her parent in this. How can I convince her to stay a virgin? What should I say? I feel like her decision will ride on what I tell her, and if she regrets it, it'll be partially my influence!

If she lost it, it would be casual sex with this guy she just started dating about three weeks ago. That's so wrong! She says there's a ton of pressure on her to keep it, and she hates it. She feels like life would be simpler if she could just have casual sex...that's just sad...


Asked by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Explain it to her like you did to us. Tell her not to waste a memory that she will never ever forget on some random guy that may leave the next day. Good luck.

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 6:35 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • She waited this long, she's better off saving it for somebody who will truly appreciate it. My little sister was a virgin until her wedding night. She got married at 26.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 6:39 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Tell her this.
    On your wedding night, dont you want to be able to give your HUSBAND something that is so special? He will have your heart and soul and body like no one else.
    And later on, if she does have sex, she will have to tell her future spouse about her sexual history, and why ruin it for someone that doesnt mean anything? She has waited this long, why not wait for someone who means something to her?

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 6:52 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I was your sister so I know how she feels, but to hold onto it and loose it to casual sex she will probably really end up regretting it, I know I would have and was close many times but looking back I am SOOOO glad i didnt, I even told them I didnt want to be just another knotch on someones belt, and thats what I would have been, she should at least wait till she is in a good comitted relationship with someone she loves and they love her back.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:02 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • It's her choice and she's got to weigh the consequences too, but I wouldn't give her the okay or not. I'd advise her to do some serious thinking because if she's asking questions, she's really asking for reassurance to a decision she's already made.

    But I don't have an issue about casual sex. Not everyone can do it and it caries some risk heart wise, assuming safe sex is practised. But if she's looking for someone to 'deflower' her, maybe she should shop for a man with experience and high recommendations which is not likely to be found in her age group.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 6:39 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • She's going to do it whether you say no or not. If she really really likes the guy, and she feels ready, she's going to do it. She's not looking for approval, she's looking for support.

    Answer by Imogine at 6:35 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • This is tough to answer because I regret havign sex so young and it led to me beign marry young etc whole snowball so my first instinct is to say tel her dont do it, but that might make her do it LOL Just be honest with her and ask her questions liek does it feel right?do you think youll feel happy you did it afterward or dirty etc? the best thing I have learned is that the more you question the more shell learn about what right for her.

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 6:46 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • And remind her that everything will change once she has sex...

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 6:53 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • she will regret it. Casual sex is always bad. She should just wait, soe doesnt even know this guy, she could cathc anything from std's to HIV, even with condoms. She feel pressure from who? Its her body and she should juts be proud and save herself for her husband.

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 7:11 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I agree with Mme.Langley! And LittleBirdFly. And Princess s21.
    Casual sex is a sad thing. Waiting for your husband is giving him a gift. You can learn how to make love together. You don't need previous experience.

    Answer by minnesotanice at 7:17 PM on Apr. 12, 2011