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5 Bumps

How do I tell my dad I'm preggers again?

I'm married almost 4 years now and my dad gives me crap about everything. I never really saw him all the time his mom had custody of me and he lived 3hours away, but when I was 17 he got custody of me by default I was removed from her and had nowhere else to go. any way when I was 18 I became pregnant with dd. I was already living with my bf (now my husband) even though it was a fairly new relationship. My father said every horrible thing about my bf and how he would leave me and cheat on me and have nothing to do with my child and I and he told me well your getting an abortion right? I was so upset that the next time I got pregnant I was afraid to say something but thought maybe it would be different because in between my 2 my younger brother had also gotten his gf pregnant and he got married before graduating HS! Yet again he just had negative comments.
I have a lot of trouble with birth control. I can't have certain hormones and even when one another type like and iud I became preggers again. Now I'm pregnate a fourth time 13weeks already I just don't know how to tell him and not fight. I recently lost my mother and feel like my father is pushing himself away from my family. (a few moths ago he called to yell at me for getting a lizard for a pet for our children)
Anyway how do i tell him something he's just gonna blow up about yet keep my cool as to not "lose" him in my life?

 
CrazyMommy87

Asked by CrazyMommy87 at 9:34 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 14 (1,798 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • i know its hard to stand up to parents sometimes. Youre dad will eventually find out. Tell him now to avoid further stress on yourself. you have much more important things to be worrying about right now. if he doesnt understand thats just too bad. its time to put your big girl panties on and be a wife and mother first before his daughter. doesnt really sound like hes father of the year. what matters most is you and your family. your dad will regret it if he pushes you away. be strong. you can do it. do whats right for you.
    mykidsmom86

    Answer by mykidsmom86 at 12:14 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I am the kind of person that believes that if someone wants me in their life, they will not say and do mean things. They show that they want me there by their actions.

    It doesn't sound like your dad does any of this. If it were me, I wouldn't bother telling him and I would start pushing him out of my life.

    It's too short to keep negative people in your life...even if that is a parent. If they don't want the best for your and only want to bring you down, they can stay out until their attitude changes.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:39 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I wouldn't bother telling him. Do you see him on a regular basis? If you do and when he notices your pregnant, and asks why you didn't tell him, just tell him you really didn't feel like arguing with him. As long as you and your husband can take care of your family without your dad's help...it REALLY shouldn't matter to him. I can't believe people who THINK they have the right to tell someone how many children they should have. Good Luck and I hope you feel better.

    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 9:43 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • i agree with everyone dont tell him if hes really that negative y even give urself the burden of argueing with him..its your life and your choice i think anychild is a blessing so take it as that another blessing ...my mom is kinda that way too nit picks at everything i do but if my bros or my sis do it then its a whole diffrent story...i say just be happy take care of ur kids and have a great life its too short to worry about nothing!!!!! Good luck and congrats again!!!!!!
    rachel216

    Answer by rachel216 at 11:19 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Unless you really care about his opinion then don't sweat it. I don't have much of a relationship with my dad. After I had my first child we planned to have another pretty soon after. When we got pregnant and I called to tell my dad his asked why we did that. For anyone to have a negative reaction to my child is not someone I really care to share with anymore. There are more issues there but when it comes to my kids that's the final straw. I've since had 2 more kids and have not told him about them. My sister still has occasional contact with him and she told him I had more kids. He's never seen them or met them and I'm fine with it.
    I say tell people and if it get's back to him just tell him what did you expect you've had such negative things to say about my other pregnacies I didn't want to start this one off on a negative note. Good luck to you!
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 12:06 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Are you married, good job, place to live and food to eat. Just tell him if not, if he is mean dont tell him, send you a pic to him when the child is born
    jennifert06

    Answer by jennifert06 at 9:39 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Don't tell him it is not on bit of his business! Be strong and realize he is put off because he couldn't care for you and you and Dh are doing the right thing,, now that being said, if you want no more kiddos get a tubal,,, but if you do,, none of his damn business,, stop trying to pleas him, and please yourself, hubby and kiddos!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:21 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I don't see him often but I try to keep in touch with weekly phone calls and i have him/talk to him on facebook. I would like to let other people know but I know it will get back to him through there.
    CrazyMommy87

    Comment by CrazyMommy87 (original poster) at 11:33 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Just got rid of my toxic mother and feeling intense peace. Maybe it's time to cut him lose and not worry about his hurtful comments anymore. People say you should be nice cause you only get one family, but when the family is damaging to your health, think of yourself and family next. It could be the best thing you do for yourself. Stock up on condoms if BC doesn't work for you. Good luck and I hope life gets much more peaceful for you all. We all deserve the best life we can have.
    TwinkleLites

    Answer by TwinkleLites at 11:56 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • We are trying to find a doctor that will let me get my tubes tied or my dh a vasectomy but tey all deny us because of our ages.
    21-dh 23-me
    CrazyMommy87

    Comment by CrazyMommy87 (original poster) at 12:03 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

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