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2 Bumps

He hurt my feelings.. BAD.

Dh and i were talkin ab him adopting my boys. First thing he asks.. "if we ever broke up, would i be responsible for CS if i adopt them??"

My mouth dropped. Im hurt. Really? Thats ALL he cares about?

He said if it was legal, and YES he had to pay CS if we were ever to divorce, then NO, he wont be adopting them...

I am sooo hurt. Not bc he wouldnt want to pay the CS, But because that is all that worries him. He said he needs to "protect" himself...

i am soooo upset and hurt.. would you be?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (25)
  • Yes I would be because obviously he's saying yes I'll be their father..if we are together. I'd be highly offended
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 11:07 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • It's not about the kids then, it's about doing what you want him to do. Sad but true. Sorry :( If it were about the kids and him loving the kids, it wouldn't be an issue.
    I would reevaluate your relationship, because it doesn't sound like he has much faith in your marriage....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • @ANON- My thoughts exactly. Its about LOVING them. And his heart is not all there
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:09 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Yeah I'd be a little upset. My aunt did this to a guy. Had one kid to him and left like 5 years after he adopted her other 3. He paid for all of them.
    He can still be their father role even if they don't have his last name. Just be glad he is willing to be there in all other ways to kids that are not his : )
    ThatBoysMom

    Answer by ThatBoysMom at 11:10 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • mine i guess... he said he would.. but, i think its all talk, and to let me hear what i want...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:11 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Its a risky thing and obviously he isn't willing to go all the way. Is he a good step dad now? I mean is he good to them?
    jujubean1979200

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 11:11 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • yes, he IS good to them...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:12 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Then leave it at that. I thought my hubby was going to adopt my oldest daughter and then I realized that he does a fantastic job right now. I don't want him worrying about anything else.
    jujubean1979200

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 11:15 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I wouldnt be offended. Its not his place to financially support YOUR KIDS FROM ANOTHER MAN. Yes enduring the role of a step father and supporting them in a loving and financial way during the duration of marriage but ... NOT till they are 18 and NOT HIS.

    Have YOU gone after the BIO DAD FOR Financial support or is he missing in action???
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 11:16 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • im not at all worried about the CS. Its about him not even being happy to adopt them.. that should be the best in itself. He could have said that later on, not so bluntly... I HAVE gone after their real father, but nothing. I want their REAL father to give up parental rights, (he hasnt seen them in a year, nor pays CS)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:19 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

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