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Do I have the right to say who does and doesn't drive my DD and in what car?

My MIL got Pissed when i said she couldn't drive DD in her old very dangerous car (Doesn't have airbags which i realize doesn't matter in the back seat but the car was in an accident so the door doesn't close and the structure isn't stable) then she said she would just my car and drive DD around without me when i said if my daughter goes anywhere my husband or i will be in the car and since it was our car we would be driving (ok i know it sounds harsh but she's very known for popping different pills at a whim if we get in a disagreement at the mall all of the sudden in goes a anti anxiety pill and an anti depressant pill which makes her sleepy and paranoid) so my question is do i have the right to tell her she isn't driving my DD anywhere and if she does try to take off with her (which she has tried) that i would call the cops

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krissii

Asked by krissii at 11:37 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,127 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You better believe you have the right... your child, you way!! It she takes your child without your permission it's called kidnapping!! Call the cops for sure!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:39 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Of course! You have every right to tell MIL to kiss your grits if she doesn't like that she isn't allowed to drive your DD anywhere. Your are the parent of an underage child. That child is YOUR responsibility.
    dustbunny

    Answer by dustbunny at 11:42 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • Sounds reasonable to me. You're only looking out for your child's safety. Tell her if she cared about her daughters safety too, this wouldn't be an issue.
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 11:44 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • You have the right to decide what will keep your children safe and happy. You are her mother and protector. If you don't feel comfortable with something, it's your right to say no.
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 11:45 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • You most certainly have that right! Your child, your wishes!

    I got into the same situation with my IL's. There was a time when they watched DD on Wednesday mornings and then would take her to daycare where I'd pick her up after work. They drove two different cars...a nice mid-size car and a small sports car and DD's infant carseat base was professionally installed by our local police department in the mid-size car. That car was going to the shop, so that morning FIL said they'd just put the base in the sports car and I told him that it would not be necessary, I'd just leave work and take DD to daycare myself. He asked why and I told him that I didn't feel it was safe and didn't even think the seat could fit in the backseat. He started ranting and raving how controlling I was, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was several weeks before they watched DD again.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 11:48 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • I totally agree, with you .....HELL NO !!!!

    BUT what does your husband say about his mom ?
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:07 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • DH is fine with my decision to not have her drive but she keeps mentioning how my mother drives DD around (My moms car is safe brand new and i am always with her) so he starts to feel bad when she says we treat her like a bad Grandparent and we don't love her (which isn't true we've never said anything of the sort) main point is she pulls these guilt trips and is pissed when we don't give in saying we are to over protective and that her kids all lived through her driving (sadly two of her daughters died because of a unsafe car and another was injured so i thought she would be more supportive of us wanting to keep our DD safe as can be)
    krissii

    Comment by krissii (original poster) at 12:16 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • You have EVERY right over every single thing when it comes to your child. I completely agree with you about not letting her ride in that car, or with MIL period. I don't want my parents in law driving around my son either because my FIL doesn't ever let my MIL drive so she doesn't have much experience, and he drinks beer while driving a lot of the time and is a terrible driver. I don't care if it upsets them or not. I'd rather have pissed off PIL than a dead child. Stand your ground here. You are not being unreasonable. Just let her know that its nothing personall against her, its just a safety precaution and a comfort thing for you guys.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 12:52 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • If your MIL is popping pills and it makes her sleepy, no I wouldn't let her drive my kids anywhere either. Even if the car isn't safe, you have every right to see that she gets to where she needs to go safely and in one piece. They should know better.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:54 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Your child safety come first, you are right!

    also if she is on drugs I would never leave my kid with her!
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 4:24 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

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