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How can the system fail this child over and over and over???!!

My heart is just so sad right now. I cant help it. I worked (until today) as a behavioral aid in a preschool classroom with a little girl who has some serious emotional/social/behavioral problems. All of her issues are due to her horrific life. Her mom is young, and neglectful. The state removed the girl from her home once, put her into her fathers custody. He lived in a dorm room at the college at the time, and there this little girl was molested when he threw a party one night. What state puts a three year to live in a college dorm??! She was then eventually placed back in her mother and grandmothers care, where their lives have ZERO structure or love. Mom constantly takes off, there is not one steady functional person in this girls life. Here is where I come in. This girl is so sweet, and can be so so kind. But she was never taught any coping skills, therefore takes her anger out physically and verbally in very unhealthy ways. I have been working with her for 4 months, and she has developed a great relationship with me. It is sad, because she does not know how to accept feelings of love for another person and so sometimes she would push me away etc. But I always worked with her. I wanted her to know that no matter what, I am a person in her life that she can count on and I will always be there for her. For the last 4 months, I have been the ONLY steady person in her life. We have made SO much progress. Just by showing her some affection and guidance, has made a huge difference in her life. Well, around three or four weeks ago she was again taken out of her mothers custody, and put in foster care with her uncle. She seemed to be doing so much better, and making even more progress. Yesterday the state found out that the foster parents were abusing her. And today she was removed from that home. She didn't go to school today, and I will never see this child again. I know I wasn't supposed to form such a bond with this child, but I couldn't help it. I'm angry with myself for not seeing any signs of abuse. I am so worried about her. I have been here to help her work through tough emotions, and confusing times for the last 4 months. I wonder if anything I taught her stuck, and if she is going to be okay? I'm just so upset that our system keeps failing her!! I am so mad that at 4 years old she has had to experience all of these terrible things. I hope to God that she will finally find the right home, that will accept and embrace her strong personality and love her so much. I am so sad that I will most likely never see her again. I just needed to vent this out, I cant get it out of my head.

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Asked by Tarrar at 11:37 PM on Apr. 12, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 22 (13,733 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Absolutely horrible! THey never do much good for children I find. I wish there was a place children like this to go to permanently and have a wonderful life surrounded by people who care. Foster care doesn't always work out as many people use it to collect money. They should throw all them in jail for treating this child this way. I will pray she is safe and comes out okay!

    Answer by TwinkleLites at 11:41 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • The system sucks. It's so over ran that the innocent ones fall through the cracks. That's why there are loving, caring, compassionate people like you out there.
    I'm going back to school to become a social worker this fall. I was worried about getting too close like you, but then the street kid we've brought in, has shown me that it only takes ONE person to care, or one kind gesture to change their lives to the positive.

    Answer by mrsvixen at 11:54 PM on Apr. 12, 2011

  • It always seems that the kids that get the worst abuse never gets the care they really need. Contact CPS yourself and tell them you have been working with this child for a while and that you were actually getting results. I think they need to know this. If you are willing tell them you would like to be a foster mom to this child and see what you can do to become one. If you can make a difference in the life of one child, that's all that matters.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:48 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • SO very true amessageofhope!!! I pray for this little girl and for you, Tarrar, that things work out for the good of this child. Know that you did your best when noone else would and you are blessed by the time you shared. If you are able, I agree with amessageofhope, ask about becoming a Foster parent and see what you can do to make a difference.

    Answer by Corilyn1221 at 7:38 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

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