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2 Bumps

Those of you rasing kids that aren't your bio children

how do you deal with people who seem to judge the situation?
i was out today with my boys and my fiances little brother, who we have custody of. we were buying stuff for his new bedroom and at the checkout line the woman commented on the items. saying something along the lines of "you must be redecorating! what a nice mommy you have" and jonah said to her shes not my mom which is his automatic response - and im totally fine with because its true. so anyway she gave me some sort of questioning look and I just mentioned "hes my little brother" (which is easier than saying fiances little brother) to which she replied "well I hope his mommy is ok with a new bedroom!" which was just a weird comment. idek. I wish I had just let it go but it really slipped out.. I mummbled "he lives with me..." she just gave me this weird look like "umm okaaaaaaaaay" kind of a look. I was really taken aback by her attitude! I said nothing more and she said nothing more. but its been bugging me all day.

anyway i was wondering if any of you moms who are raising children who are not biologically yours, and do not think of you as mom, have had situations like this? what do you make of people juding the situation?

thanks for reading, I just needed to get it off my chest.

Answer Question
 
agallo004

Asked by agallo004 at 12:37 AM on Apr. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 7 (170 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Your a good person for choosing to love this boy and take him into your home. If someone judges you or reacts negatively, shame on them. Hope everything goes well for you and your family.
    lovinlifewith5

    Answer by lovinlifewith5 at 12:44 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • i dont understand why anyone would react that way... MAYBE she was thinking of why you were, like thinking maybe his parents are dead beats and that was the bad look on her face? hopefully that was it.
    anyhow she shouldn't judge anyone for that sort of thing.
    good for you for not saying anything else to her. i might have called her on it :P
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 2:13 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Unfortunately it's just not the world it used to be. A lot of people still have the "old" mindset where life goes well and the kids and parents all live together and it's happily ever after. Today's family situations are so much more complicated though and sometimes people forget that. She was probably just thrown off and didn't know what to say.

    I'm a SM. A lot of times people would say to DS, " your mom...." then he'd reply that I wasn't his mother, but then they'd try to remedy the situation politely, which I appreciated. He's stopped saying that now, but yeah, some people can have strange reactions to it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I have step children, who lived with us for awhile. I treated them as I treated my own children. They knew who their bio Mom was..and I wanted them to recognize their bio Mom. I honestly didn't care what other people thought and honestly I didn't get that much attention as a step parent. I still had to do all the things the bio Mom would do......so I guess I never had a real problem with anyone saying anything.....

    justalady774

    Answer by justalady774 at 2:14 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

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