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11 Bumps

My husband dropped the bomb. plz help

Last night he told me he doesnt know how we are going to "do this" meaning our relationship. He said he feels like we are forcing it and that i seem happier with my friends. This is a complete suprise to me. I didnt know he felt this way. And i think i know why he feels this way.I havent been spending much time with him. Lately i havent been going to sleep when he does. I have been staying up to have me time. Its calm here at night and i love just being able to sit around without having to chase a baby, fix a sippy cup, or do other mommy things. But i do enjoy the time. I know i have been putting my wants in front of his which i dont like at all. I feel like an awful wife and i know i hurt him alot lately. What can i do to make it up to him? When i asked him he just acted like he didnt wanna tell me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Apr. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (26)
  • Blow-Job! sorry, just the first thing that came to mind. make his favorite meal, send the kiddos to a sitter for the night and just have a night to get to know eachother again where there are no kids, no sneaking around trying to make sure you don't wake anyone. couple time, date night.. show him you still have a ton of fun with him and that he still knocks your socks off.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:54 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • – collapse

    Life is TOO SHORT to waste around with someone that doesnt want you. Id tell him to pack his crap and hit the road. I will never sacrifice myself for someone else again or waste my time. That might seem cold hearted but I wasted 10 years with a piece of shit and that will never happen again.


    Answer by Luckybear05 at 10:55 AM on Apr. 13, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • I have seen this happen with other girls/women I know.Try to put HIM first instead of your girlfriends and your Mommy duties. He is your husband and deserves FIRST PLACE in your heart.Make him feel that way. I have seen too many of MY friends put their girlfriends first as if they are all still in high school. Its time to grow up and let them know that your DH comes first. And be a WOMAN, not a MOM.when he is home. Explain to him,though,that you need some quiet time alone and it doesn't mean that you are trying to ignore him. Good luck!


    Answer by minnesotanice at 10:58 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • He should have mentioned it before he said that. I would try talking to him and see what he says. I wouldn't bother doing any gestures until I heard what he said.

    Answer by Nickcole23 at 10:59 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Hey- LuckyBear......maybe her DH is NOT a "piece of shit" as you put it. That was harsh.

    Answer by minnesotanice at 11:00 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Do you think he feels it's over? Has he given up trying or do you think that together things can be worked out?

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 11:01 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I would talk to him more indepth before making any decisions. If this relationship is something you both still want to work then you both need to work on it. I would doubt that it is all your fault. Have a serious heart to heart, no blaming, no yelling, no demanding, just honest true sincere calm questions, suggestions, and answers. You should know what your next steps should be when you've completed the above step. Good Luck

    Answer by meooma at 11:05 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Sit down and talk with him about why he feels the way he does. Marriage counseling may be a good idea too. I wouldn't just end the relationship because he feels left out or unwanted. He should have been communicating with you about his feelings and you should have been communicating with him about yours.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:06 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I agree with luckybear

    Answer by KateShesGreat3 at 11:10 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Husbands need attention too. Even more so than children sometimes. Men cn be such babies sometimes lol, but its our duty to tend to our husbands. He is the head of household and if he takes care of you and the kids and is doing his part, then you need to do your part. Communicate! He should have mentioned his feelings way before he decided to say its over. Obviously he doesnt want to take you from your friends and your "me" time. So you need to set time on a calendar when you have "couple" time.

    Answer by Joanne28 at 11:11 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

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