Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How should I handle this?(edited)

I booked my sons birthday party and made the invitations that I'm going to give out today. My question is........there are 12 kids included in the party "package", a lot of kids have sibling and I'm just curious how do I handle this situation.....any extra child is going to cost about $16 extra. I realise that not everyone invited will be able to attend. I'm just trying to get "prepared" for the case if they all do and bring a sibling. If they have more than one sibling do I pay for all of them or should parents contribute something?

I gave out the invitations already I didn't put the kids names on them. In his class there are 7 other kids. And I plan to invite few other children. I did ask to RSVP. It really isn't about the money. We CAN afford it....but I just don't want this to get out of control. It's a 4th birthday. Not 40th. The only reason we are giving him a birthday this year is because he didn't have anything special for his 2nd and 3d.

Answer Question

Asked by MommyOK at 11:33 AM on Apr. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 7 (166 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • It would be pretty tacky for you to expect siblings to pay their own way, if you can't afford to pay for everyone, do something else or a smaller scale.

    Answer by older at 11:34 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I would invite and pay for the guest your son wants and the parents would be responsible for their extra kids.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:35 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I would make it clear that just the child on the invitation is invited. I think it's "Tacky" when parents ASSume their other children can go, and then don't have the courage to tell them no. You invited your child's friends, not their siblings. When I invite our boys friends for a party, I make it clear it's that child not any others. I have never had a problem with it.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:38 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I agree with BradenisMySon -- you should be responsible for paying for the guests that your child actually wants at HIS party -- siblings (unless you have openings in your package), should be paid for by whoeever brings them. IMO, it would be "tacky" for a parent to expect you to pay for a child that WASNT invited.

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 11:39 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • i definatly do not agree with mrsleftlane, when you invite young children who have siblings around the same age, the siblings usually should be invited as well. i think if the parents offer to contribute, then great, if not you should probably do something less expensive because i personally would feel uncomfortable asking the parents to contribute unless it was other members of my family.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:45 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I have never encountered such a situation... BUT...would imagine that if you are intending on having this party be a huge success that you don't want any surprises that may hinder that or embarrass your child. SO, a simple suggestion (with good natured humor) would be to: Include a handwritten line at the bottom of each invitation that states something like: Parents please note: Because we are not related to Bill Gates or Oprah, an RSVP would be appreciated by (such and such a date) so that we can ensure adequate preparations are made by ______ (state the name of the place hosting your party)_____ for ALL attendees of__(insert your child's name here)____ party. Thanks for your understanding. Honestly, as a parent, I wouldn't be offended to receive such an invitation like that. Surely most people understand that everyone is facing tough economic times and that nobody but people who are ultra rich have bottomless pockets!

    Answer by FingerPainter at 11:56 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Why should her son miss out on having his party at a special place he wants not because his mom can't afford to have the party there, but, because his friends parents had other kids? That is unfair to her son. The other parents should know already that the other kids can be left at home or need to be paid for by them. It's common decent courtesy. You shouldn't have to invite EVERY sibling. What if your kids best friend was one of the Duggars. Should you accommodate for every sibling and pay for them all? Should you only have parties at home to eliminate leaving every other friend and siblings out?

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:58 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • You don't have to pay for siblings nor should they crash parties unless they are invited. Its not your job to make sure the parents have someone to watch the siblings if they wish to do more then drop the invited child off at the birthday party. I have never had put only the invited child may attend on my invites but that is implied. If my kid wanted someone and their sibling they would ask for both of them and the invite would include both of them. Other then the 2 youngest my kids don't attend each others parties even. So if my own child's siblings aren't attending then no other child siblings will be attending on my dime. Never had an issue with it though. The parents of the kids my kids play with all have at least basic common sense. One would have to lack common sense to think an invite for one child includes the entire family.

    Answer by Iamasinglemom99 at 12:06 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • On the invitations if you put to RSVP, when they do i would ask and say that you just need a "head count"

    Answer by Genice6 at 2:38 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • It is RUDE and very tacky to assume the party mom should pay for your exta kid. Unless the family has never been to a party before, anyone with a brain would know that the invite is for whomevers name is on it. NOT the entire group of siblings! If you wanted the sibling to come, then their name would be on the invite as well.
    I hope you dont have to deal with anyone bringing extra kids and expecting you to pay, thats just rediculous. I should hope the parents know that if its at a place, its a pay per guest deal, and figure it out......good luck!

    Answer by minimo77 at 6:57 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.