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Ok my 7 yr. old is in 1st grade, and he has an IEP at school, his teacher wants to hold him back in 1st grade again. Im not sure if its a good idea. He is not small for his age, he is about the same size as almost all the other kids. My oldest son was held back in 1st grade and I think that when schools want to hold kids back they need to also think about more than the academics and think about the mental and emotional state of the child and what kind of mental and emotional state the child will be in after holding the child back. I dont think that he to behind to be held back, or to small for his age. I need your advice Im not sure what I want to do???


Asked by 1_bbygrl at 11:36 AM on Apr. 13, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think holding back a child can be the best thing in the world for him/her. Much better for their self esteem then moving forward and NOT being able to keep up with the rest of the class. You need to think of long term

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:41 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Kids are not held back because of their size. If he is not up to par on academics and keeps moving forward that will only put him farther behind. If he has not met academic expectations for first grade then he should not be put ahead to second grade.


    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 11:42 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Is there an option for some special tutoring that would allow him to meet the academic requirements for advancement into the 2nd grade? That would be my first question and approach.

    Answer by meooma at 11:41 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Look at it this way. It's going to be easier to do it now, than to wait until he's in the 6th grade, has established long lasting friendships, and then they all go on to the 7th grade, probably in a different school, and he's held back all on his own. That to me would be harder on him. Hold him back now, let him have the chance to learn the basics now while he's small, and he will make new friends, and take them with him throughout the rest of his school years. His size isn't going to matter when he can't graduate high school....

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:45 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I think you don't want him to fall further behind in the second grade. I wonder if he could attend summer school or could you get a tutor to get him up to speed? If he needs to be held back is there anyway you could send him to a different school? It might be hard on him to have to see and possibly be teased by his former classmates. I am sorry that your going through this!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:45 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I think it would depend on what the reason was. Teachers don't want to do their jobs. They will hold a kid back cause they don't like him/her. When I was in first grade,I was held back because the teacher had a crush on my Dad!!!! She was a nun!!!

    Answer by dancer at 11:48 AM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Well he is on an IEP(individual education plan), and he has tutors and an IEP tutor, but I dont think he is that far behind to be held back, I have considered talking to our family counselor and his therapist and then discussing it with his teacher, school counselor, and his IEP teachers, and the prinicipal, before I decide. I just dont want to feel like later that I made a mistake.

    Comment by 1_bbygrl (original poster) at 12:07 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I agree with u. Update me,please!

    Answer by dancer at 12:37 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • If he's not that far behind then again refer to my first answer. Special tutoring to bring him up to speed.

    Answer by meooma at 12:54 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • From what I've seen, schools do not recommend holding a child back unless they feel it is necessary. I get what you're saying about social issues, etc. but he's only in 1st grade. If you move him forward & he isn't able to keep up, that is going to be very demoralizing for him.
    A friend of mine insisted that her oldest son not be held back in 1st grade & when he moved on to 2nd, it was a constant struggle for him and he then ended up being held back in 2nd grade. And even that repeat year was a struggle. I guess the question you need to ask yourself is how hard you want next year to be for him?
    I think you're right to explore all the possibilities, but I haven't seen any 1st or 2nd grader suffer socially from being held back.

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 7:11 AM on Apr. 14, 2011