When I was in middle and high school, I was best friends with this wonderful girl. We were really close, and a lot alike. We got along, and did everything together. When we graduated, we lost contact a little and grew apart, like people do. We talked on the phone occasionally for a year, but we haven't seen each other since I got married, and we haven't talked in almost a year. It hurt, but the little I'd talked to her let me know that she had changed, and not for the better. Then, out of the blue, she called me last night. She said she was in town and wanted to come over. I said sure. When she came over, the first thing I noticed was that she is pregnant. She told me she is in 12 days. I congratulated her, the usual. We chatted for about nothing important for about half an hour, and then she says, "Holly, I need your help." I said sure. And then she told me that she wants me to adopt her baby. I was floored. I had no idea to react. She seemed happy about the pregnancy, and had given me no indication that something was wrong. After I found my voice, I asked her why. She said she didn't want the baby, but had been talked out of an abortion by her mother. She said she would either give me the baby, or drop it off at the hospital when she delivered. She also told me that she is struggling with drugs and alcohol addictions. She has scars on her wrists from cutting. After she stopped pretending to be fine, it was obvious that she was nothing like the girl I used to know. She left at 2 in the morning, we talked that long.I told her my husband and I would discuss adopting the baby.
I haven't brought it up yet with my husband. I have no idea what to do. I'm devastated that my best friend has turned into this damaged, broken woman. I'm glad that she is aware of her problems, but still. I don't know how she turned from a happy, good girl to a druggie and drunk.
About the baby. I have no idea what to do. I have kids, and I'm pregnant. But can I turn her down? I'm not sure what she will do if I don't give her an out. She didn't seem happy about leaving her baby at the hospital. She wants a good home, but she refuses to try to make on herself. Maybe she will change her mind when the baby is born, but maybe not. Since she is doing drugs, there is a good chance that the baby will have problems. She is black, already a strike against the baby. Really thinking about having another baby, even though I'm pregnant, makes me happy. We can afford another child, and if I should need it, extra help. We have the room. I will of course talk to my husband first. I'm not sure what he will say.
Have any of you adopted a child? Do you know what that entails? My friend isn't going through an agency, but she already knows a lawyer that will help her. So what does adopting a baby entail? Do you think I'm crazy for wanting to adopt a baby?
Thanks. And please, I can't think of any reason for bashing, but I'm sure someone will, so please, no bashing. Thank you
Answer by vbruno at 2:19 PM on Apr. 13, 2011
Answer by Shaken1976 at 2:19 PM on Apr. 13, 2011
Answer by allen.moriahd at 2:20 PM on Apr. 13, 2011
Answer by dancer at 2:20 PM on Apr. 13, 2011
Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 2:24 PM on Apr. 13, 2011
Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:26 PM on Apr. 13, 2011