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meddling "mother in law"! help!

so if you have a over bearing "mother in law" [we are only engaged]... what did you do to stop it? what do i do?? she is always putting her two cents in about EVERYTHING and she always thinks that i am raising the kids wrong. it is the most frustrating thing in my life right now. how do i get her to back off? [she has been told to back off numerous times, she doesnt care what we think.] how do i just get her to be gramma to the kids and realize she has no say in how we raise them? example; she gives them crap food all the time whenever we arent around, and she lets them whine and cry for whatever they want, and it works. sooo annoying. [one of the kids isnt mine and she feels power over him because she is gramma and i am not his real mother.] i dont know how to step up without being mean. this has gone on for over 2 years now and im sick of it! any suggestions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Dec. 1, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Been there done that. You just need to talk to your DH and tell him to have a meeting with his mommy and lay down the law. You need to also just tell her (not tell off) these are my kids, this is my home, and you are the grandma., know your boundaries or dont come over and we wont come to your house either. Youre stepping on my toes and you need to back the hell off. Thats what I did. It worked.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Honey, if she is like this now just imagine what she will be once you are married for 5 years! Good luck!
    rcbrown

    Answer by rcbrown at 5:25 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I am affraid that in order to deal with this you will have to get him to stand his ground and that may be hard for him because after all she is his mom and very overbearing from what you describe. I would tell her look, thank you for your advice and concern and we will take it into consideration but these are our kids and you will respect our ways and wishes if you want to see them. She raised her kids now it is your turn and she needs to respect you if she wants respect in return.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 7:28 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Your going to have to "disengage" stop going around her...and if that doesn't work, yes..you are going to have to be mean..it worked for me!
    sydsmom2

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 7:30 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

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