Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My 11 year old wants to wear a padded bra.

She's got no breasts, and she bootlegged in a padded bra, which I noticed this morning.

I told her to take it off. She got very upset. She says the kids pick on her because she's flat chested, and she's self conscious.

I want her to be comfortable in her own skin.

Should I let her?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Apr. 13, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (18)
  • I was like that. I didn't wear a bra until I was 14 years old. My mom was upset with me when I did the same. She would say if everyone jumped off a bridge would you? I would say no. She said then you just have to wait for them to grow. Who cares about boobs you have brains and that's what really matters.

    Answer by spagirl0426 at 2:58 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • It would not hurt anything. But,without breasts developed yet, the padding could sink or flatten. it could be even more for them to pick on her if this happened.

    Answer by dancer at 2:59 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I was flat chested for a while, but I was a huge tomboy back then as well.
    I wouldn't let her wear the bra either. She just needs to learn to be comfortable in her own skin.

    Answer by febmom007 at 3:01 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • No, I would not let her, tell her she will have more than enough time to wear one of those......

    Answer by older at 3:01 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • haha! friends and I stuffed our bras when we were 11...oh man..i remember those days.Thinking back now,I'm sure my mom knew but she never said anything or made a big deal out of it...I eventually just stopped stuffing and grw my own,LOL

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:02 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Have her read the book "Dear God, its me Margaret" I believe its by Judy Bloom...that was very helpful through my ages 11-14...very good book..could help with concerns like a humorous way :) Helped me to feel a little more normal..just knowing that if someone could write a book about it..then I must not be the only one...

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:04 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • When my daughter was about that age I let her wear a training bra with a very light padding in it for two reasons . . . one, to help her get used to wearing a bra and two, because the padding kept her soon to be development from being obvious. I've always hated to see young girls at that age with t-shirts that show their nipples and when their breasts begin to develop it reduces the obvious look of it ya know what I mean?

    I would not let her wear a bra with padding that actually made her look like she had breasts at that age though . . .

    Answer by qwietpleez at 3:18 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • It's a hard call. If kids were like they were when I was her age I'd say no (they teased and picked on me too). However kids now are alot more vicious then they were when any of us were in school. Honestly I'd call a psychologist or talk to the school councelor and see what they think. They're more likely to know what the consequences will be emotionally either way.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 3:19 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • At 11 I was quite stacked already and I got teased for HAVING breasts, but I can understand how your DD feels.
    When my daughter was that age, I DID buy her a teen *training* bra (found in the girls section - not women's) and they have very lightly padded bras.

    Answer by mrsvixen at 3:36 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I say let her wear it if it makes her feel better. I wish mine would wear one. We have daily arguments about mine refusing to wear one.
    I don't know how padded the bra is your daughter wants to wear, but I don't see the harm as long as it is not too padded.

    Answer by ilovepoms at 7:30 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.