Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How much more can a person take

So my fiance and I had a fight about sex Saturday and things still don't feel better between us. I'm starting to feel more like a friend and just the mother of his daughter. He kinda is talking to me more than he was before our arguement but I feel Like his friend more then his Spouse and its hurting
Me badly. Last night I tried holdin him and he kinda pushed me away and today before he went to work I was changing our daughter and he gave me a peck on the lips then picked up out daughter gave her a kiss and said I love you then gave her to me. Just before we was outside I asked him if he loves me and he laughed saying no we always joke when he did that but when he said no this time I kinda felt like he really wasn't joking this time. I'm lost and confussed . I just want to know if we will be alright.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Apr. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • May I ask.

    The fight about sex... What was it about (if you care to share)? Is it a fight that happens often (or fights similar happen often)?

    I ask, because his actions may be an reaction due in part to the fight that was had, or an overall underlying issue that is not being addressed.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:10 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I hate to put this out there and worry you but my ex acted the same way and he was cheating on me. No to say yours is but definately sounds like he's either hiding something or not feeling connected to you. I have noticed alot of ladies getting into fights with their S/Os over sex lately hope its not a trend. Have you talked to him about it? maybe u need some alone time together to reconnect?

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 3:11 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I guess it would depend on what the sex fight was about - I'm assuming he isn't giving you a lot affection or love. I hate to put this out there but maybe he is gay and can't acknowledge it? Maybe he is cheating? A mate that doesn't want to be physical with his woman definitely has something going on behind the scenes. I wish you luck and sorry you are going through this. If you radar is up and your gut is telling you something is wrong - then it probably is. Don't ignore that voice.

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 3:29 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • wow!!! Guys do fight about sex,but,the part where he said no to u asking him if he does love u,I don't know if he was kidding. A females intuition told u he was not joking, I would go with that for now and put the baby to bed early and u 2 have a long talk. U need to find out why he said it the way he did,just remember make him look u in the eyes. My dad always told me don't trust or believe anyone unless they r looking at your eyes. I found out my dad was right. He says if they can't do that then they have something to hide.

    Answer by dancer at 3:34 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • When we first met sex was five times a day then when I was pregnant it went to once a day to everyother day sometimes once a week it jus depends. We didn't have sex for like two weeks but he was goin through a man thing I think. The whole GAY THING he trys to follow in his moms footsteps with everything. He has been in a few realtionship with females and guys but he don't know that I know any of that. The only reason I brought his mom into this is because she is gay and her parter told me that she doesn't believe for one second that he is GAY. I don't believe that he is gay but he might be and it's coming out more in our realtionship. The whole sex arguement was about him wanting a bj so I gave him one then he just nutted and I was like umm what about me and he said if you want one then get it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:33 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • So.. Based solely on your reply..

    There are other (possibly major) underlying issues in your relationship.. Everything from his sexuality being in question to you feeling your sexual needs aren't being met. All of these issues will cause an under current of tensions, hurt feelings, resentments and ill feelings towards on another.I feel safe in saying it's not a stretch to think that these underlying issues are the reasons for not only the fights, but also the reactions/behaviors afterwards as well..

    When the two of you have open honest discussions about his sexuality and experiences, both of your sexual needs/wants and how to go about fulfilling them.... How does the conversation go for you guys? Is it an open, safe discussion where issues are addressed and the two of you work together to rectify them.. or.. Does nothing really get addressed much less rectified either due to fighting or things not being addressed openly?

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:38 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • When I met my husband we had sex 3 times a day and then it went down all the way to once a month and I hate even that because he isn't putting as much effort into my pleasure as he used to ... we also are more like room mates and he does sleep on the couch. It only hurts if I think about what is not going on in this relationship and I have gotten bitter about it, I push him anyway at any sign of affection like a a quik kiss.
    I have talked to him about it and he has excuses like I snore yet he won't wear earplugs. he is also to tired for sex or he says he is to old ( at 52 he should still have WANT for sex).
    You can either let go and just move on and accept the way things are the reality...... or you can fight and argue and hold grudges
    and the ideal way of dealing with things would be joint counsling ... that is something I would do if I could get my dh to accept it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • You two need to have a talk.

    Answer by amanda81919 at 6:13 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.