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3 Bumps

Do you think having photos of you and your ex together are helpful or harmful to children of divorced parents?

Your thoughts?

Do they start to create the "if they were happy once maybe they can be happy again" thoughts

-or-

Are they just a nice way of seeing both mom and dad at once?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Apr. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think it is helpful to know that they were a product of love.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:18 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I have my wedding album from my 1st marriage. My son likes to look at it, and I think it's healthy. He never says he wishes we were together still, he just brings up old memories and to me thats ok. Nothing wrong with him remembering the good times.
    AshleyLynnW

    Answer by AshleyLynnW at 6:24 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I kept pics of my ex with her not with me, but I was mad and young and immature, honestly I wish I had kept more, then if she wanted them when she was grown she could have them, But I honestly wouldn't have had them hung up on the walls etc, in a box somewhere so if she asked what our wedding looked like, or something like that I could pull them out.
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 6:52 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I would imagine it would be confusing. Because the pictures of you together would be the time that you loved each other, and now you don't, so why would you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I kept a photo album of my life w/ my boys' father for them. Now I am really glad that I did that, since he passed last Feb. Those pics are precious pieces of a time that helped create them! Keep them! You wont regreat it & your kids will thank you for it later! :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:17 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I never had a problem with it. My mother didn't display them but she kept them in an album. We would look at it once in awhile. It reminded us that they cared about each other once and we were a result of that. It also showed us that she wasn't bitter about it and that while their relationship was part of the past she wasn't afraid to talk about it. She encouraged a relationship with our father. I felt that was healthy.
    i think if you completely take the ex out of your life, the children feel the need to try to make one of the parents the villian or they feel like they have to choose sides. That isn't fair to the kids.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:20 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I think that it would only harm the child if the relationship was abusive. If not I say go for it.
    NTAMS

    Answer by NTAMS at 6:23 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I didnt really have that issue with my kid's, My step daughter however was a real drama queen about her dad having photo's of his Ex and his daughter together on the wall. The don't bother me, and he asked for them to be on the wall. They were pic's of her when she was skinny and pretty and she SO doesn't look like that now. Lets just say she DID NOT age well. My Hubby however was a bit miffed to see I still have all my wedding pic's from my marriage to my ex. Im not throwing hem out because he was in them. Thats a memory Ill never get back if they are gone.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 6:24 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I dont think its right to have these pis ALLLLL over the house, living room, hall ways..... BUT.... put a couple in the CHILDS ROOM SO THAT THEY CAN SAY GOODNIGHT TO THEIR FATHER.. or mother. THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE PHOTOS of their parents in their room whether its of them and their parent or the 4 of you together. WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT to deny a child's love for the other parent??? no matter how much WE HATE THEM or not..... this isnt about you or the NEXT stand in that comes to live there... its about the children's love.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 6:35 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • i cant say for sure but I feel like it may kind of depend on how old your kids are..? I was 16 when my parents divorced, and seeing pics of them together and happy doesnt and didnt bother me... but I was older and better understood what the situation was.
    VBM7287

    Answer by VBM7287 at 7:30 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

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