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3 Bumps

If your teen son got his gf pregnant

What would you do?
We have three son's and each of them has had a pregnancy scare, although we've educated them on BC and harp on them about safe sex.
I've told the gf's that no matter WHAT if there was a baby, we'd support her mentally and help her out, regardless of what happened in the relationship.
My youngest son, tried saying they couldn't have a baby now...we told him if he was old enough to ****, he was old enough to deal with a baby, and abortion was NOT a choice!
We believe its the woman's choice, but not our grandchild.

Answer Question
 
mrsvixen

Asked by mrsvixen at 7:17 PM on Apr. 13, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 13 (1,145 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • if you believe it's a woman's choice, then it's a woman's choice, right?? You're feeling that way b/c it's your grandchild. but are you planning on raising that baby completely if they decide they don't want to?? Im sorry, just playing devil's advocate here, but if they're old enough for all of that then they should be old enough to decide what they want to do with the baby...
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 7:24 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I can understand the "not my grandchild" part.  It's different when it hits close to home, always is. But in reality it's not even HIS choice to start with.  She can choose to have an abortion without needing any of your consent.  What does she say?

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:26 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • It won't be your choice at all. You probably won't get to raise the child either. It sounds like you are eager for this event to happen. I can't say what I would do until I was actually in that situation which I hope I never am. I also would not be so willing or upfront with the girlfriends either. Seems like you are encouraging them by saying "don't worry, we'll raise it". Sounds odd to me, sorry.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I got pregnant for the first time when I was 17, and I was on BC and using condoms. I'm so glad I had someone there to support me, because I decided to have an abortion. The BEST thing you can do for her is sit her down privately, without your son around, and ask her what SHE wants to do. Try to be as supportive as possible, even if she is considering abortion. And make sure she knows that whatever she says to you will be in confidence and it will not make it back to your son unless she says otherwise.
    IrishMomma727

    Answer by IrishMomma727 at 7:27 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I would be open to any options that the girl and the parents are talking about. In my opinion, it is her body, so her decision comes first. What I would definately do, though, is force my son to step up to the plate. If she decided to keep the baby, it would NOT be an option for him to cut contact or support. He made that agreement the minute he decided to have sex. And, there will be no bad-talking the pregnant girl.

    ALthough my kids are not old enough yet to date, in my family circle, it is important that the parents have a face-to-face meeting before any serious dating starts, so that the families can be on the same page . . . and, if we find out there is sex involved, we will be meeting about that, as well . . to make sure that everyone knows about respect and responsibilities.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 7:33 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • She can choose to have an abortion without needing any of your consent.

    That's true... And I find it very sad. I hope my son never puts himself or us in that situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I agree if they old enough to have sex they know what can happen! I am against abortiona as well but if they over 18 theres nothing you can do but talk to them.
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 7:47 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Sorry, let me explain a little more. T was actually only 17 and she did NOT want a abortion, but my son was be a jerk.
    mrsvixen

    Comment by mrsvixen (original poster) at 8:13 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • if my son got a girl pregnant, of course id be mad.. but as long as he stood up for his actions an provided for the baby my husband an i would be perfectly fine.. wed help them if they need help at times but no way would i raise their child, unless it was a horrible circumstance of them neglecting the baby or anything in that nature.
    akalei

    Answer by akalei at 9:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • My sons are 5 and 2 right now but I will try my hardest to instill good values in them so that if this comes up, I will know that they will make the right choice and support the mother of their child.
    heatherann0221

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 11:04 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

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