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I am scared of my EX

my daughters father has constantly tried having my daughter taken from me.. luckily DCF has seen his claims were bogus.

He has been abusive to me in the past both physically, verbally and emotionally.

I have never reported the abuse but have reported some instances when he was causing trouble in my home( I received a renters violation at my home due to him because he was screaming at me)

He told his mother he could have me murdered if he wanted to.

now he is harrassing mt daughter at school and the school personelle.

I am going to the court finally to file a restraining order. Cops, his mom and so many people have told me to do so and I have been scared because I do not know what he will do to me.

I filed for child support and his retailation was to try to get my daughter taken and put in foster which he has been unsuccessful but 2yrs later he is still harrassing DCF with false claims.

He stole my car one time and made copies of all my keys and has a copy to my home key and I am scared to ask management to change it because they will probably say I am in violation for letting that happen. My dishwasher broke and I was a victim of domestic abuse at home and they told me those are violations. I am scared beyond anything and do not know if I should pursue or what?

I am trying to move back to the state my parents and family are but uncertain now. I am waiting on job offers before I can move.

not sure what I should do..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Apr. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • If he's already made false reports to child welfare departments, that's all on record. I would get new keys made regardless, if I had to pay for them or not. that's just peace of mind. your filing for child support has nothing to do with custody. hang in there. Does he have visitation and/or does he exercise his rights for visitation? What is the current agreement concerning custody?

    Answer by SassySue123 at 10:29 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I have sole custody and he has visitations which he filed and does not exercise.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:30 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • If your family can help you, ask them. You need to get back to being with people that love you, and that can help protect you. You shouldn't be going through this alone.
    If you can't get back to your family and need to take a job, then you need to see an attorney, file for SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY. You should also go get a slide lock for the inside of your door, so that when you're home with your child he can't let himself in. My sister rents and she had the lock changed on her door. She just kept the old one and will reinstall it before she moves. You can do that. If you have an existing deadbolt then just replace it with a new one, and leave the handle the old one. If you need anything message me...

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:32 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • If you have sole custody then I wouldn't worry about him. If he does take your child he will go to jail end of story. By the sound of it he's a coward, and all talk.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:33 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Along with what the other have said, get some great friends and have them over often. Make it seam like you are always with people when you are at home. This way you always have a witness and maybe he may back off knowing their is safety in numbers.


    Answer by sweetangie79 at 11:37 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Get your locks changed before he freaking kills you like he said he will!

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:10 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Have your locks changed ASAP. It's better to be safe than sorry. Go ahead with the restraining order. They can put him in jail if he violates the restraining order. Your safety is the issue here. Do whatever you have to in order for the both of you to be safe.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:26 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I own" Guardian Angels", .....................

    We a DOMESTIC ABUSE GROUP, here on cafemom.

    We are cafeful, for many reasons...

    If you are interested , plz look me up and mail me personally, so we can talk first.


    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 2:37 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • You were definitely NOT in violation if he stole your car and keys. You didn't let that happen. Get a RO and get police involved and document all that you can. Have it for your landlord and tell them that you need your locks changed. Pay for it if you have to.

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:24 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • i agree with everything above^^

    Answer by adriana1024 at 2:19 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

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