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How can i get my 13yr old daughter to talk to me???????

hello i am in need of some advice my daughter who is 13 will not talk to me tells me she hates me and is talking to everyone but me and her dad about sex and other things. when i try to talk to her she sys its her life and it aint any of my biz. you know if ever talked to my parents like that i wouldn;t have a mouth to speek or a butt to sit on... please help before she does something stupid..

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dmkitchen

Asked by dmkitchen at 11:19 PM on Apr. 13, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (52 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I had some trouble with my daughter around this time too, she is turning 15 tomorrow. It is a phase and they do grow out of it - most of the time. What I found worked for my daughter and I was going to the mall or going to grab something to eat at her favorite sandwich shop. Do something she enjoys, just the two of you. You may not get a whole lot the first time, but the idea is to open the door. Once you get that door open and let her know you are interested in HER, you will get her to open up a lot more. Good luck!
    catsmom1993

    Answer by catsmom1993 at 11:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I've had trying times with my 13 y.o. daughter as well. It's only going to get worse (says my mother who survived 3 girls) The best thing I can recommend is planning a day trip with her! Take her out shopping, to a museum, to a movie, get your nails done, get your hair cut together, go to the spa.... even just once a month.

    My 13 y.o. is my oldest of 4, and when I do get her talking about how she acts, she always says how I never have time to spend with just her. It's hard with my husband being away so much (Marine) and 3 little ones, to do that. I need to stop making excuses and MAKE TIME FOR HER! She will be grown up before I know it, so I am making it a mission of mine to do more things with JUST HER!

    Hope that helps! Just ask her what she would like to do on a free weekend???
    KTurner4

    Answer by KTurner4 at 11:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I would sit her down and tell her you want to listen. That you're not going to say anything, and she can speak her mind, in a respectful way. Tell her you know she has a voice, and you're willing to hear her out. Let her know that you understand that being her age is very difficult and that you've been there. You should also let her know that her bad attitude will NOT be tolerated, and there will be consequences. You have to let her know that you are NOT her friend, you are her parents, and that you demand respect, and there's no two ways about it.
    My Sisters a single parent with a 12 yr old daughter and she asked us to help her with. We all sat down with her and said all of these things to her, at a time with she was being a complete monster to my sister, and now, since she knows she has a voice, and her mom made it clear that she demands respect, she's a different kid. If you need anything just shoot me a message.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:26 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • Take an interest in things SHE likes, spend time with her- watch movies and talk about them, listen to music and talk about the lyrics, go get fancy coffees or luch together and chat in the car, take a walk with her -let her know you love her and let her know she can come to you with anything, that you won't judge. Let her know you are there for her. but I think the biggest thing is be interested in her and what she likes- that way you can share some of those things together and she will talk ;)
    my daughter is 17 and she tells me pretty much everything- sometimes even too much! hahaa
    also- be honest with her about things, AND let her have a little space too
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:50 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • I have always been very open with my son. We are very close. While he doesn't tell me everything, I know when he has something on his mind he is upset about. There are times when we just go at it. So we have to sit and talk it out. My son knowsand I make sure to tell him again when we are talking, to tell us what or how he feels. that we won't get mad, we will just listen and talk it out. We find that most of our problems are that we aren't comunicating good. These arguments are few and far between, but it happens when we get off track. Sitting and talking and letting him have a voice is i think the best thing. We know how he is filling, plus then he listens better to us on how we are feeling. Take a day just you and her and do something together and talk, and listen to her. She is probably feeling left out. hope it works for you.
    Angela_1974

    Answer by Angela_1974 at 8:39 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • set aside a couple hours a day to do something fun with her something she likes to do. Once a week do a girls only lunch and movie, let her invite some friends if she wants. Listen and really hear what they are saying. My dd is now 18. We still do things together just the 2 of us. Same with my 16 yr old son. Leave the preconcieved notions at the door and just let her know in small ways that you are and will always be there for her no matter what.
    Wyndi

    Answer by Wyndi at 11:31 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • we are going through the same issues with 12 year old here
    mommyof3-2008

    Answer by mommyof3-2008 at 10:04 AM on May. 25, 2011

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