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Advice from moms of twins OR moms with similar aged children. or just anyone who has any advice.... im willing to listen to anyone at this point :P

my twins are 18 months old.
i have allowed them...us really, get into this horrible habit. at night when its bed time, I hold one twin and my mom holds the other, and they cuddle and suck on a bottle of water (yep yet another bad habit.) and they fall asleep. being held. yep. oh wait, it gets better.
then they each lay on those foldout couches for about an hour or so and then we go up to bed. taden doesnt sleep in his crib, he sleeps in the bed and tyler will sleep in his crib if he is still asleep when i put him in it. but he wakes up half wya through the night and cries and i put him in my bed.

we NEEEEED a new routine. I'm sooo ready to change all of this 100%!! BUT I'm concerned about a few things, i have some questions, and I need ideas.
first of all i have no idea where to start so a step by step example of your routine or an idea of a routine would be great.
I have a few ideas such as, (when its warmer) walk or bike ride after dinner, a bath, reading/playing quietly in their room
and then alseep in their cribs.
the biggest thing is the sleeping part. I'm sure i could figure out the routine if i had to, but i'm so overwhelmed by the thought of putting them both in their cribs that im just scared to try it.

i've tried the whole, put them in their crib and let them go to sleep on their own, with ty. it didnt work. plus my mom came into the room and was all pissed off at me because he wasn't sleeping. so i HAD to take him to my bed so he would sleep.

i just know if i try to put them in their cribs they will just scream bloody murder and feed off each other and keep each other up i have no idea what to do or what to try or anything.
thats why im looking for advice from moms of twins/simliar aged kids on that last part.
this was long but i need a lot of help
thanks!

Answer Question
 
ElsaSalsaaa

Asked by ElsaSalsaaa at 12:14 AM on Apr. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,139 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I don't have twins... I have irish twins, but not twins. But what you have, is a very common parenting "trap" that eve us singlet mommies fall into. For some of us its them falling to sleep at the breast, with a sippy, or a binky. Some of us it rocking them to sleep, or sleeping in there beds, or them sleeping in ours.

    I would say with two, take one issue at a time. You could take away the bottle and then work on them falling asleep without the rocking, like in your bed, then start moving them to their own bed, or in a bed together (face it, even us adults don't like to sleep alone!!). Or try cutting our the rocking, and have them fall asleep in your bed with the bottles, then maybe in their bed(s) with the bottle, then work on taking the bottle away. I wouldn't try doing it all at once because they will fuel each-other. If singlets can join together against parents, I'm sure twins can too!!
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 12:57 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • We do dinner, playtime, a story, then bath...Then bed. My DS and ODD are 13 months apart, and YDD is just shy of 2 years younger than ODD (they are currently almost 4, almost 3 and just turned 1). If they cried in their rooms, we let them. In the first day, we went in every 5 minutes, gave them a hug and a kiss, then laid them back down and tucked them in. Did it every 5 minutes. The next night, every 10 minutes. The next every 15 minutes. The final night it was every 20 minutes (they eventually went to bed after like an hour or two). After that, they learned to just lay quietly until they fell asleep. They didn't like crying themselves to sleep, and they always slept better when they laid there themselves. It was hard to listen to them cry, of course, but after a few days, we didn't have to listen to it anymore. Good luck!
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 12:58 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Oh, and our bedtime routine (5 kids ages 7,5,4,3,1) bed time snack and drink, bath, teeth, story, lights out. Our oldest gets to stay up 30 min later then the rest to read. With little ones, a dark room and soothing music, and rubbing their backs really helps to transition them from sleeping with us to sleeping in their own bed. Stay with them till they fall asleep, and when they wake up make sure that you go in and reassure them that your right there and just comfort them back to sleep.

    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 1:01 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Ok I did things the hard way. I broke my oldest 2 boys who are 2 years 1 month and 3 days apart. I took the bottle away and pt them in their own beds after a warm bath. I let them choose a special toy from the store as a sleep time toy and told them to hold their toy when they missed being in my bed, The bottle I substituted the bottle for a sippy cup with water. That was only for about 3 weeks then took that away.
    sweetangie79

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 1:28 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I really hate that you think this is a trap. My twins are 5 and we have slept in a family bed since birth. I wouldnt change a thing. They will be grown before you know it and you will miss this time you had with them. I know... I have an older son who is 23
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 1:28 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • @shinvasgirl its not a huge deal to me that they sleep in my bed, its just hard on all three of us because theres not much room so they are rolling on each other and waking each other up. plus some nights taden ends up in my moms bed and it shouldn't be her responsibility to be up with him at night and i just want them to feel comfortable being independent in that way.
    plus i can't put them to bed in MY bed at 9pm because they will fall out unless im in there... so
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Comment by ElsaSalsaaa (original poster) at 5:18 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

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