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3 Bumps

How to deal with a controlling mother.... she takes credit for everything with my son. i had to tell her that upsets me. she gets made when my son sees his dad. critiques everything I do... and claims i am bipolar. just because i do not agree with her on everything... i try to keep the peace with her but sometimes it gets overbearing... she is upset about me graduating and getting a better job... she downs everyone...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Slowly distance yourself. You don't need constant negativity in your life especially when you are doing well.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 1:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • You need to stand your ground. She sounds like the type that keeps pushing your buttons until you stand up for yourself. Don't be a floor mat. I'm not sure what your living arrangement is (if you live w/your mom, then you have to grin and bear it), but if you don't live w/her then there's no reason she should be so involved in your life. Start asking HER questions. She will see how it feels. When she criticizes you, then play counselor back and ask why she's got so much time to nitpick on little things. Also, reinforce good behaviors. Don't be totally mean but remark often how you enjoy her company when she does XYZ (something right) and how you don't like it when she does other things. I also recommend ordering this book to help you understand controlling people:

    http://www.amazon.com/Controlling-People-Recognize-Understand-Control/dp/158062569X

    This book will help you recognize and deal with all types of controlling ppl.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 1:38 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Stay away from her
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:07 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Yikes sounds like my mom. We don't talk anymore. Too much negativity. Sorry mama
    tnvplus2

    Answer by tnvplus2 at 1:23 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Tell her she can't come around anymore unless she can be civil. End of story.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 1:10 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Do you live with her?
    MommyKKay

    Answer by MommyKKay at 1:20 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • My mother is bi polar. I know where you're coming from. I had to maintain distance from my entire family for years because of her behavior. I got counseling and learned how to set boundaries in my relationships. 10 years later I'm proud to say I have a great relationship with my mom! In the end the real problem was me. Yes, she has serious mental health issues, but as the sane one in the relationship you have to be captain of the ship! Work on yourself cause you can't fix crazy! Lol!
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:32 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Some people are just misrable and have to make others misrable to. DO NOT LET HER ! Just ignore her and one day she will just slowly fade away.
    windchime33

    Answer by windchime33 at 1:36 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • P.S. Don't forget to select "Best Answer" for the answer you like the best.

    Answers tab > My Questions > Select the question > Choose Best Answer to close the question
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 1:40 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Sounds like she's jealous of your success. As for being mad about your son visiting his dad, that's his right and she should mind her own business about the visitation. Walk away or end the discussion when she starts nitpicking and after awhile of this, she's stop. Others behavior around you can be modified, but it takes time. You are each individuals and are not going to agree on everything, so don't even bother. Thank her for raising you to think for yourself and put on the filters when she starts arguing. Seems like she NEEDS something and you can't give it to her except by allowing her to put you down.Don't give in. How sad. Good luck Sweetie. You're gonna need it.
    Droyal14u

    Answer by Droyal14u at 3:34 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

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