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3 Bumps

Affair

I am at a time in my marriage that I want to have an affair..Not like sex just someone who will listen and not over talk me when I'm expressing my feelings.

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lonesome3036

Asked by lonesome3036 at 3:07 AM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (56 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • It sounds like what you need is a best friend, if it's companionship and comfort that you seek. An affair is never the answer. I you really want someone to talk to, try talking to your husband or make some friends.
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Answer by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 3:27 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I really am sorry that things have gotten to this point for you, but I can promise you that an affair will not make things any better. It only ever makes things more messy & complicated. If you're this distressed, I would assume you've taken every action you can in your current relationship to make things better, right? Communicating is the number one thing, but sometimes your other half isn't communicating with you or else they don't know how or sometimes, unfortunately, they just don't want to so I understand if it's difficult to make that work for you. I don't know exactly what's going on in your life so I can't give pinpointed advice, but I do have a suggestion. Take a look at this site. Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage is excellent! You might find something that will help you tremendously :) Stay strong & don't make any rash decisions!

    SpiffySnaps

    Answer by SpiffySnaps at 3:32 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Maybe you should look into getting a hobbie or take a class. Get your mind off of having an affair. Keep yourself busy. Do something you enjoy. Laughter could be the best medicine.
    Take care and I hope you find happiness within yourself
    janeq123

    Answer by janeq123 at 4:11 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • It's hard when you wake up one morning and realize your not as close to your spouse as you once was. Find a best friend...preferably a female, there are some things that I just don't want my husband to know, I need to have that companionship outside my marriage so I can vent or cry about stuff that men just don't get, or like my husband, feels helpless to handle the situation, he has yet to learn I just want someone to listen. Guys see a problem and they think they have to fix it and it usually comes with some type of well just don't talk to them advice lol. I get, missing the laughter and the shoulder to cry on, having someone to hold you and tell you everything is going to be okay...and even having someone to laugh with over something that guys find petty. An affair is going to get you no where...if you are looking for an affair end your marriage...if you are looking for companionship find a BFF.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 6:38 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I agree. it sounds like you need a best friend. I wouldn't suggest seeking it with a male because it will eventually end up that way.
    jujubean1979200

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 7:31 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I think you need to reconnect with your spouse. Try having an affair with him! Text for him to meet you at a seedy motel or go to a bar separately and flirt with each other like you just met! This kind roleplaying is so much fun and nobody gets hurt!
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:45 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • sounds like you need a friend that will listen and to reconnect with your husband also
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 10:37 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • A few years ago, I went through the same thing. All I wanted was someone to talk to, that would listen to me and actually "show" that they cared.. Unfortunately, that led to more than that and I had an affair on my husband. I felt terrible about it, but it happened. I couldnt take it back. By the gace of God, our marriage has been fully restored and we are more in love now than we were before the affair.. Just a warning to you that the only thing you need is a best friend... You dont really want to cause trouble in your relationship :) Hope this is helpful!
    ProudMommie87

    Answer by ProudMommie87 at 12:46 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I think that instead of having an affair, you should talk to your spouse and tell him that he needs to listen more when you speak, and not over-talk you when expressing your feelings. Maybe tell him that it makes you sad when he does this and it doesn't make you feel close to him, and that you want to feel closer to him. I have noticed that men treat "feelings" and "emotions" a little differently than women do. Usually they are not as sensitive when it comes to these things. But I think that is just how most men are. I know I would be horribly upset if my husband wanted to have an affair because he felt I didn't listen to him. GIve him a chance by talking things over and working these issues out with him. But whatever you do, don't have an affair. Try to remember all the things you love about your husband and why you married him in the first place.
    ilovepoms

    Answer by ilovepoms at 1:04 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

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