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@ 44 really? I am dealing with this crap?

So, DH and I are friends on fb. DH has a LOT of ex gf's..and some of them on his friends list. I am cool, we have been together forever and have 2 kids a.. total of 6 his mine and ours. I noticed he became friends with a woman from the past that he has mentioned before. I was confused because he always called her by her last name, but on her fb her last name is the one DH calls her by but it says she is married to a person by that last name. So I asked...does this mean you were with her when she was married? He flipped out on me, accused me of being on his fb page. My friend happened to be over and as he was calling me a stalker, we tried to explain that when a friend of yours on fb accepts new friends, alllll your other friends get a notification...I got it, my friend got it...anybody on his friends list got it. We have kind of been through this before..one ex even had the nerve to tell him she drove by our house and saw our boys out playing and her "heart stopped because she was sooo sad they were not her kids with him" WHO's the stalker here? He is sooo defensive about the women of his past. He writes on their walls...he NEVER writes on mine...I admit, that stings. So I mentioned this while he was throwing accusations around...he told my gf...I live with her, why would I want to talk to her on fb? Then made a crack about my over spending money and said "I would think she had a crack habit if she weren't so BIG" My gf said, hey B that was just MEAN. So, I went on facebook and unfriended him. If he is so protective of these women, then he can have them...they can have him! I am so sick of this high school crap at 44. He has never done anything to make me not trust him, but I think this is borderline emotional cheating him being sooo adamant about his relationships with these women being none of my business. I have not said two words to him since yesterday. I am so angry, and I don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I am not sure. little confused at who is who
    jujubean1979200

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 9:53 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I think you need to both get off of facebook, what he said was really not nice, but he felt attacked for some reason...if going off of facebook is not an option, then perhaps you could share a facebook page, that way no secrets,, alot of my marred friends have the same page!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:53 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I would be upset too, but if you have nothing else than your suspicions, you got to give him the benefit of the doubt. If you have had no reason to mistrust him until now, do some more snooping and play it by ear.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:54 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Ugh. I'm sorry this is happening. My ex fiance was that same way. Granted, he's just now 25... I see people like my bio dad n his gf, still lying, cheating, stealing, in and out of jail... they think the world owes em something, even though the decisions belong to them alone. Sorry, sis.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 9:57 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I don't for one minute think he is cheating on me. BUT, he is SO defensive about his past, the women from his past etc. He accuses me of getting on his fb page. I keep telling him, I know when he adds friends because I get a notification on MY fb page. I DO however think that telling your spouse that your relationship with women from your past on fb is none of her business is crossing the lines of love and trust. I am not about to delete my fb page, I enjoy talking to my friends. I have NO ex's on my friends list. I have nothing to hide or be defensive about.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:58 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I'll admit it doesn't sound good, and I wouldn't be happy either! I agree with the comments above, FB can be so bitchy! I say you both delete your profiles!
    kylie_bob

    Answer by kylie_bob at 9:59 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • well i have to say i would be so pissed to there is no way n hell no man of mine is going to talk to me like that or tell me his ex's aren't my business i say just be a bigger nip shit and see what he dose and if you have to kick his ass lol trust me i would for sure
    crystal85

    Answer by crystal85 at 10:17 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • wow i be mad at him i often log into my hubbys face book to do something for him. he all so can log onto mines we tell each other everything . i know not everyone is like this but i think your man is acting a bit off i think you were right to unfriend him and just leave that life of his well alone . as long as he not cheating i don't see a problem

    feralkitten

    Answer by feralkitten at 10:20 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Wow.I'd have been bent about it too. Maybe he's beginning a midlife crisis..and it makes him feel "macho" to have all these exes on there? lol..who knows..men...whether they are 20 or 50...they don't think like we do ( and thats why they need us so much haha)
    It does sound very highschoolish..
    so you have 2 options...play his game right back...
    or call him the idiot he is and leave it alone I guess,lol.
    And the comment about you not being a crack head because your big..well..that wouldve deserved a good long silent treatment for dayssssssss.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:25 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • You both need to get off fb. If he refuses, I would take that as a sign that he really doesn't want to work on your relationship.

    This same sort of situation happened with my dh and I, and we both got rid of fb and are doing 100 percent better.
    KateShesGreat3

    Answer by KateShesGreat3 at 11:05 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

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