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How would you handle this?

OK I know my dh loves me very much and he is over protective about us and our kids well about a year a go we decided to do some healthy changes in our lives so we always wore somewhat loose clothing well we both lost some weight me 20 and he 25lbs. Well the other day I decided to wear a shirt that was a little snugged than before not tight or too small just snug it looked good well he said my boobs were poking out to much (like it is my fault) well I changed bc now I have a complex I do not like when people stare unless I feel pretty (:
Oh and another thing when we see old friends and the natural thing to do is hug or shake hands well he'd rather me shake hands...I know he is a bit controlling but I deal with him some how he really is a great guy.
Thanks ladies for your thoughts.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • i could never be with someone so controlling. I would tell him to shut the fuck up
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:56 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Tell him to grow the fuck up. He should be proud of his woman, and if he doesn't like other people looking he should close his eyes. If my SO told me I couldn't hug my friends I would tell him to kiss my ass.
    xmama_bellax

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 9:57 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Hmm...well, I see him as being protective but there comes a point when you have to take control of your life and do what you feel is right not just what he thinks is right.
    jujubean1979200

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 9:58 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I would continue doing what makes you most comfortable. If you are comfortable in a shirt, wear it. If you are comfortable hugging, hug. Don't ever let anyone control your life
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 10:01 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I don't like a man to tell me how to dress or behave but thats just me, on the other hand I don't want my S/O hugging other women but it depends who. Theres a thin line between respecting your dh wishes and taking his opinion into consideration to letting him walk all over you. And honestly i think if you feel uncomfortable enough to ask our opinions on it then you dont like it either. Stand up for yourself before it gets worse and he starts "punishing" you for not doing as you are told.
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 10:01 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I agree. If my husband ever tried telling me what to do, I would tell him the same thing (stfu and kiss my ass). Don't have a complex about people looking at you. You are beautiful no matter what; we all are! And tell that husband of yours to be proud of you and show you off!
    XoXo
    Kari727

    Answer by Kari727 at 10:01 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I am the same way but I am not a touchy person by nature.. I don't like to stand out unless I am trying and I for sure don't want to draw unwanted attention to myself. sounds like DH is just trying to make sure you know what you are doing if you have been wearing more loose clothes and you step back into more fitted clothing.. don't think he wants you to feel bad or worry about covering up because suddenly people notice more..

    However, if you are a hugger, hug your friends.. hug your family.. he will either get used to it or get over it, there is no harm in a friendly hug!
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:01 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I used to be in a relationship like that, it's never good, and ended up violent, not saying it will with you but it's not good for anyone to be controlled.
    kylie_bob

    Answer by kylie_bob at 10:06 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • First I respect my husband opinion when it comes to my clothing. There have things I've bought or have worn that he doesn't "approve" of because they in his opinion show to much clevage. I keep this in mind and just wear and undershirt, camisole, or the snap on cami.. I'm assuming it's the old friends that are male that he rather you shake their hands. I've never have to deal with that, but then again I'm not a hugger. I hug family members..that's it everyone else I just say hi too--that's who I am naturally. When it comes to old friends is he a hugger or non-hugger?
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 10:08 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I'd make sure and give him a little extra attention in situations where you know he's going to be miffed. After hugging the old friend, hold DH's hand. When you wear a form fitting shirt, remind him that your just trying to set the mood for later (if you know what i mean).

    If you want to confront the issue i'd wait until a few days after an incedent occured and (while wearing a baggy shirt) ask him why he got upset about the shirt and remind him who he comes home to everynight. Some people just need more encouragement than others.
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 10:14 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

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