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any tips on improving my chances of sole physical and legal custody of my daughter?

i'm finally taking my 4 yo's dad to court to get papers about a custody arrangement. odds are he wont like this and his evil wife wont like this either, but too bad since it's in the best interest of my daughter. i've been searching online about what determining factors there are in this. do you have any suggestions or tips on how to prepare or what to keep track of for this?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Dec. 1, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Sole custody is extremely hard to get. Some factors are:

    1 Job situation-whose is better?

    2 Abuse-has he or his new wife ever shown any to you or your child?

    3 Criminal history-do either of you have?

    4 If you can provide lots of letters of support from employers, etc that helps.

    5 Drug or alcohol abuse by either of you?

    6 How much contact has he had with your child? Has he paid child support?

    7 Letters from school counselors or other health professionals that have seen or cared for your child. Would they as professionals recommend it?

    Chances are you'll get shared custody w/him having visitation but if you get a good lawyer they might be able to be pretty tight on that issue if you push that. Really work with your lawyer-if you don't you're guaranteed not to get it. Good luck.


    Answer by redfairy41 at 6:53 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Sole custody is hard to get. I have sole custody of my oldest 3 children and only got it because
    1. Their dad never visited
    2. He had a warrant for his arrest
    3. Had been abusive
    4. Was on drugs
    5. had a criminal history that had to do with children so that factored in
    6. I had a restraining order

    If I hadnt had that then he would have gotten some visits. My other child we have joint custody with him and that is because I didnt have anything to prove the abuse allegations since I never called the police on his dad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • The previous posters are correct. He may be a jerk, his wife may be evil, but it takes a lot before the courts take away his right to be DAD.

    Answer by mancosmomma at 7:28 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Why do you want to take her away from her Dad? She needs a Dad in her life..Are they harming her?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • i didn't say i would stop him from seeing her... i just want court papers saying i have sole legal and physical custody. he has been in and out of the picture for the majority of her life so i just want to make it perminant that she's with me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I'm sorry but What exactly are you wanting? Do you want her 24/7 and never give him any time? Or what? How would you make it work?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I'm wanting full legal (meaning i handle all the major issues in her life i.e doc appoint, dentist, schools, church etc) Of course i still want him to see her and everything. He has openly said that he gets too overwelmed (his wife has two young kids that he is with every night) and sometimes can't handle her (ya i know weird that he can't handle watching his own kid for a night a week but whatever)... So i wanna make it every other weekend and every other holiday. Technically he's not supposed to take her over night till she's five so i wanna put that in there to.
    It's taxing on my daughter emotionally as well as developmentally. She doesn't have age appropriate activities there and whenever i tell her that she gets to go play with her dad she freaks out, screams "no no no i don't want to" and hyperventalates almost to the point of blacking out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Dec. 3, 2008