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My 19 year old daughter told me last night that she has been depressed, and anxious and very stressed out.

She is in her second semester of college and she likes to always put on a happy face. she said she goes in the shower and cries and cries and she thinks it's time to get help. How do I find her the right kind of doctor? she is type A - she hates to fail, she studies so hard to avoid getting a bad grade. I never push her to this it seems to just be part of her personality.
She is beautiful and a a loving soul with a lovely caring heart. I hate to know she is in misery. I want to lift her out of her depression. She knows I take anti depressents, so I don't know what took her so long to talk to me about it. Maybe she just didn't want to be like me?
I need a really great psychologist or psychiatrist in pittsburgh, there's too many to know who to pick. Can anyone help?

Answer Question

Asked by mtoman at 1:28 PM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Involve her in the choice. She is an adult and if she is type A, this doctor will have to fit her standards. You could have her regular doctor make a refferal or call around to find one she likes.

    Answer by amber710 at 1:29 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I think the best person to ask if your health insurance. Call them and tell them that your DD needs to go to a psychologist and that you need to know who specializes on youth and anxiety/depression.

    That or call her doctor and ask for a recommendation. The definition of a good psychologist depends on the individual, since a psychologist might not work well for 2 different people.

    Answer by Dalimonster at 1:31 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Look listen to her, and pay close attention to her. College will indeed cause depression due to being overwhelmed. My first 2 years in college was very hard and stressful. Not academically, but emotionally. It was "NOTHING" like high school, and everything was going too fast. The professors won't cater to you like high school teachers, and they expect for you to do the work, no excuses. She may be homesick, this could cause depression as well. Is she okay financially? Money problems in college could stress you out too. Just make sure she's okay because I almost dropped out of college due to me becoming depressed, but there were counselors on campus who helped me get through it. Be there for her, and listen to her. Make sure she doesn't sound different. Ask questions, and don't be afraid to ask if she's out partying too late. That can cause stress of having to catch up on assignments. Good luck!

    Answer by ambr2006 at 1:35 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Definately, have her involved. The fact that she came to you means she wants help. If she is living in a dorm or on campus is there an Resident Advisor or conselor that they could recommend? Perhaps they've dealt with this question before. Talk to her doctor if she has one there about a referral.

    Answer by knappkin at 1:36 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I would try to some natural remedies first or find techniques to help her through. Still get her to see someone but dont just jump to meds right off. I honestly always prefer to find a natural way of doing things before resorting to meds, not to knock anyone who takes them at all b/c I have before as well. You are going to have to test drive out these docs before finding if you like them or not, some people like one while others do not. So I'd find a place sign her up go with her see how it goes but also on the side look up some stuff on the internet yourself. Look up some techniques, buy her some books that talk about this issue & give helpful tips, etc. Looks like she needs to insert some more fun into her life & time manage a little better (but you know her better then I do). Good Luck I'm glad she came to you for help instead of it festering into a bigger problem.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 1:46 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Resident advisers won't help. She need to find the school counselors. All universities have them. Resident adviser's job is to monitor who is coming and going from the dorms. They make sure curfew is not broken, and partying is not going on, that's it, I know because I lived on campus for 4 years. Counselors would be able to point her in the right direction.
    A Resident Assistant is generally in charge of one floor of a dormitory and answers to the Resident Director. Your duties can require you to act as chaperon to the students. I don't know, maybe the resident adviser can help, but I sought help rom my counselor.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 1:52 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • The sad thing is that depression is proven to be hereditary, unfortunatly depression is something you are born with :( sorry! But there are tools, has she talked to the pyscologist at school? Is she seeing anyoneor just got out of a realtionship? Has there been a dramatic (15 lbs or more) change in weight, gaining weight or losing either one? Has she made many friends, has she declared a major?

    Answer by DallasMomVicki at 9:41 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • This caught my eye because I have a 19 yr old who just finished her second semester of college. She got straight A's but didnt seem stressed by the work. She was playing a fall sport and was participating in their spring workouts and suddenly quit that. The she got chosen for an elite board on campus that does the programming for student activities that made her happy. Since home for the summer she has landed a nice summer job but last night she told me she was really down because she feels like she has no friends and particularly because she has no boyfriend or even close guy friends and she feels like she doesn't know how to relate to them. She feels like there is something wrong with her. Her girl friends are still finishing up finals so no one is free, and they don't do much anyway. She is interested in boys but is awkward socially and has a hard time with conversation and chitchat. She is pretty and just a nice, good kid.

    Answer by momvoit at 11:48 AM on May. 10, 2011

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