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What do you think?

I need an out side perspective. Okay i have this new friend whos in a bad marraige feels lonly. Shes commented on how lucky i am to have my dh. Now we do this think were once a week i cook something for her and she does the same on that night. Well i tried giving her plate back a few times when by calling and she would say no later. Every wed night i go to church so my dh wants to suprise me with the kitchen and living room cleaned. but when i walk in the dishes are gone her dishes. So i said she came and picked them up he said no he went to drop them off they live 4 houses down. I asked why it kind of got me mad why idk. Well after that i noticed she tries to be around my dh and talk to him Alot. plus on wed she would call after i left not always maybe 3 times in two months but she knows im at church i looked at the phone records and my dh never picked up but she would never leave a voice mail. So i start thinking did they hook up. at this time we were fighting for a month or two and sex wasnt happening alot (over little things) Well im like no forget that. Well 5 months later i invite her and her dd to my dds b day party. My aunt tells me look at my dh and neighbor. so i do and she says watch her she likes him so now im freaking out again thinking okay so im not the only one who sees this. so now im can not stop thinking did they hook up or did something happen because she acts different to him. I havent talked to her for 3 months but i feel like packing my stuff and telling my dh she said they slept together just to see what he says and tell him im leaving i know its dramatic but im having a hard time looking at him just because of this. what do you think? should i let it go? sorry for mis spelling im in a hurry lol and i am not a person who is insecure or thinks bad about my dh but this is bugging me. weve been married for 8 years and this has never happened.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think you should talk to your man. Tell him how her obvious interest makes you feel. Ask him if there's any thing or was anything between them. And if not, explain to him that you do not like feeling this way so it's best for you to cut her off. Tell him you trust him, but that you don't trust yourself to act appropriately around her because she is being so obvious. Say it's embarrassing to have your own family questioning the situation.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 12:21 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Well I praise you for holding back as long as you have :) I guess I would just ask him, things do seem a bit strange, but its possilbe you're over thinking it too. Just ask, you know your hubby, you'll know if he's lying ) GL

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:45 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I think that you are a bit paranoid. I would simply come out and ask him and not stage some dramatic situation of you leaving. Just communicate. You say that you are no insecure but that is exactly the way that your post is coming across.

    Answer by Melbornj at 1:42 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Wow I dont know what to think right now. I am going to think about this and get back to the post but this would bug me too!

    Answer by ria7 at 1:43 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Something is definitely not right there, and you should feel suspicious, hell I do and I don't even know your husband. Set a trap. Become your own PI. You should be able to find out something. Good luck, but I'm with you, something is not right here.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 1:45 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • i think you just need to drop the 3rd person that put a wedge in your relationship to begin with, which is HER. all the drama and emotions are caused by her but you allow this to happen because you want her around and invite her to things. if your DH wanted anything to do with her, he would of picked up her phone calls and made it less suspicious anything is going on between them but it seems to me that you think things are going on just because he avoids her.

    If you continue to ignore her, she's gonna make your life a living hell with your DH because she's got a destination - to get your Dh to be her's. Get through this hell and keep ignoring her.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:45 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Sounds like to me that she may have a thing for your dh but your dh is totally oblivious. He didn't answer her calls, he told you he took the plates back. He was talking to her in front of you at the party. Doesn't sound like he is being sneaky, sounds like she is just trying to get what she can't have.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I'd just come out and talk to him about it. I don't believe in doing underhanded things to try and catch people doing something they shouldn't. I'm more upfront about things than that, I guess. Good luck, and I hope it's just your imagination and not reality.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 2:25 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I think you should talk to him (or her) about it first. If they say nothing is going on and you're still not getting a good vibe from them, then investigate or set a trap. I wouldn't leave him unless I was sure something happened. Good luck.

    Answer by at 3:12 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Not saying he IS screwing around, but it definitely seems like your friend is interested in your hubby and I wouldn't trust her based on the things you said. I'd sit down with hubby and voice the concern in a very non-accusing manner.

    Answer by rio_burb at 3:35 PM on Apr. 14, 2011